


Chosen Path

by chibibritney



Series: The Flow of Balance [1]
Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, BUT WHEN, Eventual Romance, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kai from Ahch-To, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo hunts for her, Post-Canon, Rating May Change, Reylo - Freeform, Secluded Rey, Slow Burn, force dream, reylo child, they have a kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-04-04 23:39:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 39,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14031384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibibritney/pseuds/chibibritney
Summary: After 15 years of searching for Rey, Kylo Ren is unexpectedly granted her location through a Force dream. Once he arrives, he is surprised to find someone else* entirely.Excerpt:Impulsively, Kai blurted out, “Where’s your balance? Why did you pick the dark side, then?”Kylo held a stoic expression as he opened his eyes slowly.“I did not choose. My path was chosen for me,”SPOILER******That someone else* is Rey and Kylo's teenage son; a son Kylo had no previous knowledge of.





	1. Found

_Strange_ , she thought to herself, furrowing her brows.

She hadn't walked through a forest since the Starkiller Base.

_Something isn't right._

 

She reached to her hip and touched her lightsaber for comfort. With a sigh of relief she slowly paced herself, weaving in and out of the trees through the thicket ahead. Although she didn't have the slightest clue of where she was, it was familiar in a way she couldn't understand. 

_Like deja-vu._  

As she hiked on, a low buzzing started, turning quickly into a hum and then a vibration. It felt as if there were cold whispers biting at her ears, but the words were misplaced as they reverberated through her chest and into her stomach. As soon as the jumbled noise reached its peak, it promptly ended. There was nothing. She felt and heard nothing…  
  
Not even the heaving of her breath.

This was the type of silence that shook someone. It was dark and all consuming. It had a life of its own. Rey gasped for air before forcing out the start of a whimper, when she felt a hand tightly grasp her shoulder.

_“I've found you.”_

________________________________________

Rey jumped out of her sleep, drenched in sweat. Startled, her first thought was to get to her son as quickly as possible.

She stood in the doorway to his room and carefully studied him. Her boy was peaceful in a deep slumber. His thin, lanky body lay across his bed, and his pale face was surrounded by wavy, messy locks of dark hair.  
  
She would never love anybody more. He was her main priority now.

 

She took a careful look around his room; dirty clothes, socks, and makeshift masks lay scattered about. A half-eaten meal and scribbled drawings were on the old desk that sat in the corner of his room. No one else was there… Or so it seemed.

"It can't be," she muttered to herself. She couldn’t accept that they might have been discovered.

 

She quietly walked outside to gather herself – the cool, moist air of Ahch-To softly sweeping across her face. As she closed her eyes to focus, she tried her best to gather the strength to admit to herself that it had not been a nightmare. The voice was one that could not be denied. And although it hadn’t sounded menacing, she took the words as a warning.

Rey had not been connected to the Force since the last time she’d spoken with Kylo – when she’d made the choice to sever the Bond – for her safety and for the Resistance... But part of her had also wanted the pain to stop. She couldn't be Bonded to someone who would continually break her heart. She’d failed him, just as he’d failed her. 

 

Rey was trying to do what Kylo Ren had told her to do; let the past die. And even though it had been years and years since, it still stung like a fresh wound. Realizing her mind was wandering, Rey collected her thoughts and blocked out the memories to focus on the issue at hand. Her lungs burned at the notion of what was coming.

The understanding of what was happening froze her where she stood; there was nothing she could do.

________________________________________

_I've seen this before._

Without hesitation, he trudged through the thick trees towards an unknown force that called to him. This feeling was of equal parts fear and reassurance, and he wasn't sure how that was possible. What was pulling him? Was this even a question that he wanted answered? At this point, he was invested whether he wanted to be or not – almost involuntarily.

As he followed what seemed to be a predestined path, warmth bloomed inside him. It was comfortable and felt like a breath of fresh air. He could not remember the last time he’d felt relief like this.

 

As he proceeded forward, he heard a voice… Or rather, he _felt_ it.  The sensation was a murmur that he couldn't quite make out – not yet. It echoed through to his core, and devoid of reason, he knew he had to find it.

It felt as if he was a predator stalking his prey, and though his sixth sense tingled with awareness, his eyes had yet to catch up. As he approached, the vague noise finally became clear. They were the most tragically beautiful words he’d ever heard.

_Don't do this, Ben._

But as soon as he’d heard her, she was gone. Her absence weighed heavier on his shoulders than it ever had before. Loneliness penetrated the little bit of soul that he had left.

_Why… What is this?!_

 

It felt like his world was spinning in circles, and he lost track of where he was. When the rotation stopped, he found himself behind someone, with nothing else in sight. This was the source of warmth he’d felt. He raised his hand slowly, silently.

_I've found you._

________________________________________

Kylo awoke calmly, swiping the sweat and damp hair away from his forehead. Sitting up, he pondered what had just taken place.

_Was it real?_ he asked himself, almost unable to fully process what had happened.

 

Real or not, he had a direction to go; he was finally in possession of what he’d sought for so long: a location. It had been 15 years since he’d started this manhunt. After years of searching for any hint of where Rey had fled to, the answer had come to him unexpectedly, in what could only be described as a Force dream. The coordinates were branded inside of his mind. Still unsure of why the Force had connected them again after so many years, he didn't care to question it. Kylo Ren had what he wanted. He felt a calm that was almost foreign to him – something he hadn’t felt since the last time Rey’s mind had connected with his.

 

He quickly looked around the command shuttle that he now considered his home.

**Alone**.

Opening the door to his ship, he tramped onto the hot sands of Jakku. Unlike his dream, this was not a pleasant heat... And during his time on this planet, he often wondered how Rey had handled it for so long.

 

Kylo had journeyed between Jakku and the now-refurbished Supremacy for many years in hopes of finding any trace of the young girl he’d once known. He knew that the memory he had of her would one day be replaced by the woman she undoubtedly had now become – one he wouldn’t recognize.

He centered himself – away from his thoughts of her.  A decision had to be made...

Should he tell the Supreme Leader of his discovery?

 

Kylo Ren had stepped down from his throne; it had never felt right. It hadn’t been what he wanted, and after the battle of Crait he’d been in no shape to command an army. Kylo’s spirit had been broken and, without informing anyone, he’d gone into hiding after his failure. Hux had taken advantage of Kylo's disappearance and gained control of the First Order during that time – so much so that he had crowned himself Supreme Leader.

When Kylo had first returned after months of absence, he’d informed Hux that he had been searching for the girl, but had come up empty handed.

Hux had his suspicions about what had happened to Kylo during his disappearance, but that was not his main concern. He had hoped that Kylo’s leave would be indefinite and had been disappointed when it hadn’t been. Aspiring to permanently be rid of him, Hux had concocted the plan to give Kylo the directive to continue his search for Rey; he’d wanted nothing more than to keep Kylo away from the First Order and the throne. This would bide Hux time until he could formulate a more permanent solution. And if Rey happened to be found during that time, it would be an added bonus. Hux aimed to figure out a way to eliminate them both simultaneously.

 

So that had been the only order Hux ever gave to Kylo Ren: to find Rey and bring her back to be charged for assassinating Supreme Leader Snoke. Hux figured this task would keep Kylo busy, and his attention elsewhere in the meantime.

 

Assumingly unbeknownst to Hux, Kylo had his own motives for finding Rey... And though they were not completely in line with Hux’s, he followed his given orders for his own selfish needs.

In Kylo's mind, she had lied to him, and she had yet to answer for it. Rey had broken the Bond that she and Kylo shared in more ways than one. She’d promised him a hand to hold in his loneliest times; she’d promised to help mend him in the ways he had been torn apart. She ripped away the only light he had ever felt, and he craved her for it. Rey had left without a word, and the darkness in him had reached a new peak without her.

 

Kylo decided that there would be no transmission to Hux; he knew what he had to do and he intended to carry it out.

**Alone.**

________________________________________


	2. The Past Returns

A pale pink glowed through the small window in the bedroom where the boy slept. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and rolled to the side of his bed as his feet touched the floor. Although it was quiet through the house, he could sense that all was not well.

*****

Kai was a boy of 14, but almost effortlessly had the Force-sensitivity of a full grown adult. He had known of his abilities from a young age but was clueless as to what they were or what they meant. Whilst Kai’s mother recognized that he was gifted, she did her best to normalize it. Nevertheless, Kai had always felt a burning desire to find out more about who he really was.  
  
And thus, as he’d grown up, he had constantly pressed his mother for answers, but she’d always been wary towards the subject. Rey had told him tales of the past – about the Jedi and the Sith, about wars and how they were both won and lost. She’d shared with him stories about beings that were Force-sensitive – how they had a choice to make and the gray area in between that had barely been explored.

She had warned Kai of people who’d made the wrong choices, which had led to seemingly irredeemable circumstances. She’d mentioned a man named Kylo Ren and the misfortunes he had once caused; she’d called him a monster who’d wanted to destroy not only the Resistance, but the Jedi as well.

Unknown to Kai, Rey had left out all of the middle ground about the battles she had been involved in and the connection she’d had with the man – the monster – she’d once known. She had always felt it unnecessary for him to know everything of her past – Ben Solo included. To her, he was dead. In the end, she’d reminded Kai that everyone from that time had perished years ago, and it was nothing more than that.

*****

_Something isn’t right._

Kai felt an undeniable tension floating in the air as he focused. There was a sharp electricity that silently moved throughout his home.

He apprehensively roamed out of his room – head almost touching the top of the doorway as he walked through. “Mom?” he called out... But silence was the only response. He assumed his mother was outside. Many mornings he would meet her out there as she meditated. She would always tell him that it helped quiet her mind.

As he was about to walk out the front door, it flung open – barely missing his face. Rey walked in with a too-big, toothy smile.

"Good morning Kai," she chirped.

 

Kai could see through her facade without effort. "What's wrong, mom?" he asked immediately as he towered over her.

He could see she was visibly shaken at the quickness of his response. Kai reached his hand out towards his mother in hopes that she would take it as a gesture of comfort. Rey stared at him, and her eyes instantly teared up. He continued to hold his hand out to her. "What is it? _Please_ talk to me."

The words echoed through Rey's head, her eyes glazed over. She couldn't hold herself together for the first time in years. She fell to the floor in something comparable to a heaping mess.

 _There’s so much he doesn’t know yet. He isn’t ready._ **_I’m_ ** _not ready._

Kai heard the thought as it pulsed through Rey’s mind and it left him baffled. Although Kai could sometimes hear immediate thoughts, he had not yet harnessed the ability to dive any deeper.

He proceeded to drop to his knees to help his mother get up. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”

“There’s something I haven’t told you Kai,” Rey breathed out through her tears.

 

Before she had a chance to continue her admission, they heard what sounded like a ship drawing closer. They broke eye contact and looked towards the window. A dark shape on the horizon revealed itself.

Rey didn't have an opportunity to grab her son before he charged outside, almost breaking the door. "Kai! Please come back in! I'm begging you!" she pleaded.

 

While she watched her son walk towards impending doom, something clicked inside of her. Rey instantly gathered herself, stood up, and ran outside. Even if she didn’t feel strong, she would do what she needed to protect her son.

"You need to go inside right now; I won't tell you again," she barked as she marched past Kai without giving him a glance.

Kai didn't move as he watched the black ship approach their home.

She turned around and stared him in the eyes with a burning intensity he had never seen from his mother before. **_"Now,"_ ** she demanded with finality, teeth clenched.

Without saying a word, Kai turned away and stomped back inside. Once the door shut behind him, he lost control and lashed out as he punched a wall.

_What is going on?!_

 

Kai ran to his room and put on his clothes. He didn't know what was going to happen, but he wanted to be prepared regardless. He moved about his room like a wild storm, grabbed the staff his mother had gifted him for his last birthday, and practically flew back to the front of the house.

He stared intently through the window out towards his mother as the ship prepared to land. He noted how his mother's small body stood tall and strong as the wind whipped through her hair.

_This must be serious._

 

The spacecraft landed yards away from Rey, and within seconds the door opened. Kai had never seen a ship like this; it was big and menacing. Time stood still as a figure dressed in dark clothing, a hooded cloak, and a mask staggered out. He thought back to the tales of the past his mother had told him. And even though she had said that everyone had been wiped out – all dead from long ago battles – he had no doubt in his mind about who this was. He had never been more sure of anything in his life.

Instantaneously, Kai could feel his heart rate rising as he clenched his fists. His anger was seething, and he could feel darkness seeping through. These feelings were something he often buried deep down and attempted to overcome with meditation. He never wanted to lose control.

 

This time was different, though. Inner calm was not attainable, and for the first time in his young life, he didn't want it to be.

 

" _ **Kylo Ren,** " _he forced out through clenched teeth.

________________________________________


	3. Unexpected

The sky had turned from pale pink to a patchy gray with clouds scattered throughout; sun barely able to poke through. The wind lashed through the sea air that surrounded them.

Rey stared in silence at the masked man before her, unsure of what was hidden underneath. Possibilities ran through her head, unable to stop on one with certainty. _Would I even recognize the person I see?_

No words had been said between her and Kylo Ren, yet tension pulled tightly through the empty space between them. Kylo could sense the internal debate as it flowed through Rey, compelling him to take off his mask before they spoke. He had wanted to make this personal.

As Rey watched Kylo remove his mask, the slow unveiling of his face made her veins fill with anxiety.

 

Other than the fact that the scar she had branded on him had still been visible and slightly raised, his face was smooth with the same spots of scattered freckles. Though his hair had grown longer, it nevertheless looked perfectly unkempt, just as she recalled. She recognized his eyes as the familiar dark pools of emotional fatigue and exhaustion – he looked as if he had barely aged and was just as internally pained as before.

Slightly stunned, she softly gasped. _It’s still him._

The meeting had a different feel than what she’d originally expected. There had been no residual resentment felt, as she assumed there would be. She couldn’t help but to long for the man she once thought she knew, and this reaction surprised her more than anything. Though her emotions swirled in confusion, Rey kept a detached face. She didn’t want him to detect a weakness in her – not yet.

 

As Kylo took in the surroundings, his sense of awareness informed him that they weren’t alone; someone else, although hidden, was there. He'd chosen not to bother with unnecessary worry, deciding he would address the issue only if needed. Kylo’s interest had been in Rey – nothing else.

"It's true," Kylo contended as he broke the silence.

The hairs on Rey’s arm stood up as the smoothness of his voice swaddled her, but she forced herself to hold her ground sternly.

"I've found you," he continued, almost proudly. "Your location was brought to me through something astonishing; a Force of some kind. I assume you're already aware of that with the way you stand there on high alert," he scoffed with a slight smirk.

 _The Force?_ she questioned herself.

 

Rey hadn’t been connected with anything Force related in years, which she had assumed he was mindful of. She felt foolish that the thought hadn’t crossed her mind that the Force could have been behind this – that fate itself could have wanted to link them again. _Was this really what brought them back together after all of this time?_

Kylo’s voice had pulled her from her musings; "I do know that you haven't been connected for quite some time. I’ve been searching for that connection for what feels like an eternity. Once I had your location, I could feel your signature the closer I got to you.”

He took a sharp breath in before he continued, as if to gather the strength to turn his thought into words, “It’s not one that’s easily forgotten.”

 

As Kylo stepped closer to her, he carefully studied the curves of her face and the way her chestnut colored hair hung down past her shoulders. The dimples on her cheeks were a little deeper, her eyes had seemed slightly more wise – yet the hazel color sparkled just as brightly as he remembered. He noted that although time had passed, she hadn't changed. Her presence still had the same effect on him.

Rey watched Kylo’s eyes as they studied her – her mind wrapped up in trying figure out what it was that he searched for. She calmly spoke up in a gentle tone that Kylo had not expected, "What do you want? Why are you here?"

Kylo was caught off guard by the response he received; he had not expected anything but animosity from her. His lip slightly quivered as he grappled with hesitation for a moment.

" _Y_ _ou_ ," Kylo uttered with a softness that had the power to both uproot the ground they stood on and hold them down to it at the same time.

 

As their gazes met, they were instantly locked like magnets – unable to fight the pull to each other. Rey dug her heels into the soil beneath her in an attempt to steady herself.

Memories rushed back like flood waters. It felt as if the blood had been drained from Rey’s entire being. She felt overcome with heartache as she remembered how it felt when his lips had once brushed up against hers – long ago when they had only needed each other.

But as soon as the moment had started, it shattered with his follow up proclamation;

"You will come with me to answer for the chaos you’ve caused," Kylo half-heartedly ordered as he raised his hand towards her, hesitant in his approach. He hadn’t expected to feel her pull on him quite so tightly and struggled to shake the grip away.

 

"I suggest you rethink what you're doing," a voice boomed.

Kai walked out of the house and stood directly in between his mother and the man that had invaded their peace. "I won't let you do this, Kylo Ren," he fiercely declared as he held the staff at his side, prepared to do what was necessary.

Rey reached out to grab her sons' arm, lost for what to say. She had been catapulted back to their current reality after momentarily being lost in a world that consisted of only her and Kylo.

 

Kylo stared down at the boy who hadn’t been much shorter than him. He observed the freckles lightly flicked across his cheeks and nose; the dark ruffled hair that surrounded his face. Wide honey eyes with specks of green glared up at him – a stare that resembled Rey's from their meeting on the Starkiller Base.

It didn't take Kylo long to figure out that this child belonged to her as feelings of acrimony arose.

 _This is who else I felt? A child? She...has a child?_ He could feel as his heart shattered into tiny fragments at the revelation.

 

Kai grinned, "Yeah, that's right.”

He had turned the tables and responded to the thoughts that had weighed within Kylo’s head. Kai’s anger had slowly been replaced. Not with fear, but with amusement. He'd been surprised by how much he enjoyed provoking someone.

 _“You will release her to me,”_ Kylo impulsively shot towards Kai in an order as he tested the young boy – not out of fury, but of curiosity.

 _It won't work_ , Kai retorted – unvoiced; a menacing smile had broadly grown on his face as he raised the staff towards Kylo.

“Make a move, I dare you.” Threat had dripped from Kai’s words as he challenged Kylo.

 

Kylo Ren lowered his hand as he eyed the boy curiously. The situation had fascinated him greatly. Kylo gathered that this had been the first time he had taken his abilities on a test run – and it seemed this child relished in antagonizing him.

"Interesting," Kylo declared as he shifted his eyesight back to Rey.

But Rey couldn't focus on Kylo at that time. Her eyes had been glued to her son. The look on Kai's face hadn’t been one of apprehension, but of amusement instead. This was a side of him she hadn’t recognized. His willingness to leap into mischievous tactics was something she'd never seen before.

Rey had no longer been worried about Kylo Ren or why he was there; she was worried about her son and the darkness that she could feel from him – even without the assistance of the Force.

________________________________________


	4. Decisions

Before a worry could be spoken, Kai’s attention was drawn to a beep that came from within Kylo’s ship. The noise interrupted the situation at hand, causing everyone to look towards the spacecraft. Kai broke the silence as he sarcastically asked, “You gonna get that?”

Unfazed by the sardonic remark, Kylo shifted towards the opening of the ship – but before he could walk inside, a droid rolled down the ship’s ramp. "Ren, respond immediately,” a voice ordered through the droid.

Kylo glanced over his shoulder to where Rey and Kai stood; a look in his eyes demanded that they stay in place. He walked back onto the command shuttle as the droid followed behind.

 

”What do you want, Hux? I thought it was clear that I’m not to be bothered,” he declared, rolling his shoulders in irritation.

Taken aback by his tone, Hux fumed, “I will not tolerate you speaking to me in such a manner. I am your Supreme Leader and you will respect me as such!”

Kylo bit his tongue until it bled, conceding to Hux’s directive. As much as he believed that he shouldn’t be under Hux’s command, he was – and since he was unwilling to let Rey’s whereabouts be known, he was left with no choice but to respond and follow his orders.

“What do you need from me?” Kylo reluctantly asked as his hands tightened into fists, doing his best to hold in his anger.

“The tracker on your ship is no longer working. It last shows that you landed on unmapped territory. You need to report back to me at once with information on where you are and what you’ve found.”

 _Tracker?_ Kylo pondered to himself as he cocked his head. _He’s been tracking me? How long?_

Without trying to let emotion bleed through into his voice, he drew in a long breath and acknowledged the request, “Yes, right away.”

Kylo had to deliberate quickly and tactfully. He hadn’t planned anything further than the act of capturing Rey; what he would do with her after hadn’t been completely thought out. There was so much information he had yet to attain – so much left unsaid.

There was still unfinished business.

 

****

 

Once Kai was sure Kylo was out of earshot aboard his ship, he looked toward his mother and spoke in a hushed manner; “Everything you’ve told me...you told me Kylo Ren was dead. I don’t understand.”

Rey turned her face away. She couldn’t look at her son; ashamed as she thought of all that she’d kept from him throughout the years. “I was trying to protect you. From the day I found out about you, I swore that would be all that I did for the rest of my life – protect you. I never thought that this would happen.”

“Protect me?” Kai slightly raised his voice, wrinkling his nose, “Protect me from what exactly?”

 Just as Rey opened her mouth to explain, Kylo stepped down from the platform of his ship and slowly paced in front of the them. Rey and Kai shared a quick glance and then resumed their silence.

 

Kai stared intently into Kylo’s eyes as he loomed closer, looking for answers to the many questions that ran through his own mind. Kylo returned the glare, stone faced. Their indomitable stances matched each others.

Rey attentively watched the both of them. To her, it looked like two animals getting ready to pounce. She was unaware of the full war of words and intense conversation that was being transmitted between Kai and Kylo. Her mind had been preoccupied as she tried to absorb the scene that played out in front of her: Kylo Ren and her son, feet away from each other.

The situation that unfolded before her was one she had tried to keep Kai away from his entire life – the reason she had fled to begin with. Rey’s heart fluttered in astonishment as she observed them: their strong yet slim physical features, their rigid posture, and even the way they both unintentionally curled their lip when concentrating. _The similarities_ – _they’re uncanny._

 

This had been the first time Kai had ever soley communicated through his mind and he was surprised by how much it excited him. He listened as Kylo informed him of what needed to occur in order to keep their home a secret – to keep his mother safe from to the First Order. Uncertain as to why Kylo was concerned about what happened to his mom, he hadn’t cared; protecting his mother was all he wanted.

Time felt like it froze once their eyes locked in a shared understanding. Kai held his breath in anticipation of Kylo’s next move.

It felt like the silence had went on for a lifetime. In actuality, only a minute or two had passed before Rey noticed Kai nod in what seemed to be an agreeable manner towards Kylo Ren.

 

Acknowledging Kai’s agreement, Kylo motioned towards Rey, “I’ll continue this conversation out loud so that Rey will be informed of what’s taking place.”

Rey shivered at the sound of her name leaving Kylo’s lips. For a moment, it was almost as if Ben was there.

“Supreme Leader Hux is demanding that I return to the Supremacy with a report of what I’ve found. The child will be returning with me,”

Abruptly cutting Kylo off, Rey raised an open hand to Kylo as if to stop his train of thought, “Absolutely **NOT**.”

Trying to offer comfort, Kai grabbed his mother's shoulder softly. “Mom, it’s the only way.”

Hands on her hips and teeth barred as she faced her son, Rey began to argue back. “There is always another way!” Rey stomped her foot in defiance.

Kai threw his hands into the air, “They want to kill you and I won’t let that happen! He has to bring something...someone back.”

“I’ll go! You are not going with...with...him.” Rey’s face turned crimson as the impulsive comment left her mouth.

Kylo turned his gaze up enough to catch eye contact with Rey. Though he flinched as the remark reached his ears, Kylo could feel everything she had felt. He sensed the complete dismay that Rey was experiencing and could see how much Kai’s departure would pain her. It was obvious to him that the comment came from a place of distress.

Kylo shook his head as he realized that empathizing with her had always come so easily to him.

 

“What don’t you understand about me saying you’ll die?!” Kai exclaimed, disregarding his mothers previous statement about Kylo.

Rey grasped at any hope of Kai not leaving. “Then no one will go, besides Kylo. He will be on his way and...”

Kylo interjected, “If nothing’s brought back, the First Order will come looking for what I’ve found. Although it’ll be hard for them to find your exact location quickly, they’ll search tirelessly until this area is located. Eventually, they **will** find this planet.”

“I’m not risking anything happening to you, mom. I’m doing this,” Kai insisted as he stood tall. He was set in his decision. “He isn’t forcing me. **_I’m_ ** choosing. Not anyone else.”

As Rey stared at her son, she noticed that his familiar radiating light had returned. She could see that he truly believed that this was the best choice, and she knew that it was terribly unlikely that he’d back down from it.

_I can’t change his mind._

The darkness inside of him that peeked through moments ago had completely vanished.

 

“This is your fault,” Rey accused as she pointed towards Kylo – the harshest she had spoken to him since his arrival.

Kylo held off a reply for a short moment before he shrugged his shoulders, “Nothing’s changed. It always has been, right?”

Shocked at his sincerity, Rey could tell by the sullen look on his face that Kylo really did hold a level of moral culpability. He always had – even for things he couldn’t control. She couldn’t help but feel a certain level of responsibility for the situation as well.

Regardless of who Rey held accountable, this was the predicament they were all in. She didn’t want to accept what was happening, but she understood that this is what had to be done. She clutched at her throat, not wanting to accept her realization.

 

As he watched his mother's demeanor deteriorate, Kai reached up to put his hand on Rey’s face with a warm smile. Leaning into him, she grabbed his hand as it lay on her cheek – tears streamed from her eyes. All Rey could think about was how she would miss his dimpled smile.

“Come back to me, Kai. **_Please_ ** , I’m begging you. Come back to me.”

The plea had been between Rey and Kai, but Kylo could feel that it was also a moment meant for him to hear.

After kissing his mother’s forehead, Kai smirked and handed her the staff he had been holding. “I’ll get this when I come back, and then you can tell me everything.”

Without a show of fear and an ear to ear grin plastered onto his face, Kai pivoted back towards Kylo Ren –

“Alright then, do you wanna take me in cuffs or what?”  


	5. Limitations

The journey back towards the Supremacy and the First Order hadn’t been a quick one, which left Kai and Kylo alone for quite some time. The awkwardness shared between them made it feel like it lasted even longer.

*****

Kylo sat at the front of the ship in the pilots seat, pretending to be distracted by screens of coordinates and maps. Deciding that it was probably best to keep his distance, Kai stayed near the back of the ship. Neither one of them had been sure of what to say as they both hadn’t been involved in many social interactions – outside of Rey, that is.

 

While Kai sat on the floor, he took in his surroundings. He’d never been aboard a ship before. His whole life had been spent on the rocky, mountainous terrain of Ahch-To. He could remember drawing pictures of fantasy worlds and starry universes as a young child, but he never thought that he would leave the island.

He noted that the ship seemed bare inside – very minimal besides the computer screens, endless buttons and levers. Nothing like he’d imagined. It was void of any note of life or brightness; a ship that seemed to float alone in space and time. There was a touch of sadness that lingered in the air.

 

Kylo leaned back in his chair with a sigh. Slightly shifting his head to glimpse behind him, he noticed that Kai looked to be lost deep within his own thoughts. _Wait...I can’t hear anything from him anymore._

Before, there hadn’t been an issue with delving into the boys’ mind. Once aboard the ship, it seemed that Kai had created a wall that Kylo couldn't break through without effort – effort that he felt was unnecessary at that time. Knowing all too well what it felt like to have a constant presence picking through your mind, Kylo decided not to pry.

 

"What's gonna happen to me?" Kai unexpectedly queried.

Kylo noted a hint of fear for the first time. Unsure of what to say, he didn’t reply.

Kai hadn’t turned his head to actually address Kylo – seemingly thinking out loud. "I want to make it back to my mother. I need to..." he trailed off for a moment. "She's alone. I'm all she has."

 

A searing pain tore through Kylo Ren as he sank down into his seat. Promises that had once been spoken between him and Rey rang mind numbingly loud throughout his mind.

 _We used to have each other._ Kylo gripped the arms of his chair and inhaled sharply as he tried to push Rey’s voice from his head. His heart ached for a past he had tried so hard to forget.

  
Kai noticed the tension as it grew and lowered his his head, weary on if he should continue. _Wow, did that upset him? Maybe I should stop...Wait a second, why am I worried about how_ **_he_ ** _feels?_

"Can you at least tell me if I'll see her again?"

"I don't have an answer for you."

 

The reponse hit Kai hard as he gulped back air, trying to prevent himself from crying – unwilling to show any sign of frailty to Kylo Ren.

The words may have came out harsh, but Kylo really didn’t have an answer for him at that time. He was uncertain of any future that may lie ahead, including the nagging unsolved problem of how he would explain Kai to Hux.

 

After noticing that there hadn’t been a counter response from his passenger, Kylo adjusted his stare towards Kai. What he laid his eyes on was a much different picture than what had been presented on the island.

There sat a broken child: held back tears in his eyes, conflicted and lost. Having been so strong for his mother, Kylo could see that it seemed to have been a facade; a mask – striking him as familiar. He knew that feeling well, though he’d never admit it.

 

Kai had displayed many traits of Rey: a strong will, unprecedented passion, selflessness. Yet what he exhibited now was a completely different, unexpected side. One that Kylo related to on a deep, personal level – and it unsettled him.

As Kylo held his unwavering gaze at the child, he spotted something that made his heart stop – Kai’s subtle eye twitch. His mind shot back to a memory from years ago when Rey had pointed out his own eye twitch.

 

Uncomfortable with the equivalence that he’d just found, Kylo turned away quickly – eyes wide with alarm.

*****

After a few moments, Kai realized he had folded in on himself out of weakness. He quickly straightened his back, doing his best to carry forward like nothing happened. _I hope Kylo didn’t notice that..._

Kai stretched his legs out in front of him and raked his fingers through his hair while forcing himself to continue conversation – anything to take the attention away from his previous upset.

 

“How come I could hear what you were thinking before, but now I can’t hear anything?”

“Because I allowed it,” Kylo responded in seriousness. _He doesn’t realize I can’t hear his thoughts anymore, either._

“Woah, I didn’t know that was possible! You’ll have to teach me that one,” he followed up innocently in a wisecrack, completely blind to the fact that he already possessed the capability.

 

 _Teach?_ A plan seemingly devised itself in Kylo’s mind.

 

"I will tell the Supreme Leader that I was drawn to a presence and assuming it was Rey, I went towards it without hesitation. Instead, I found you: a lone scavenger on a planet I didn't know."

Knowing that his idea was risky, Kylo didn’t leave enough time for Kai to respond before he declared, "You’re now my apprentice and you’ll stay with me."

 

Kai perked up in shock, "Your...your _apprentice?_ " He’d figured that he would arrive as a prisoner, not an apprentice.

Increasingly more interested, Kai scrambled to his feet and put his hands on the arm of Kylo’s chair. Kylo slightly flinched as he looked to his right and noted how uncomfortably close the boy had gotten to him.

"You're going to _save_ me?" Not fully grasping the situation due to surprise, Kai impulsively pressed on – "Who _are_ you, Kylo Ren? This isn’t who I expected you to be after the stories I've heard from my mom. How do you know her? She told me you were dead.”

 

 _...Dead?_ Kylo became paralyzed. Even though he figured that this very conversation would inevitably come, he hadn’t prepared for it. There was no way he could articulate his and Rey’s history so simply.

“Another time,” Kylo answered solemnly, but firm.

 

Doubtful that Kylo would ever follow through with his statement, Kai decided to disregard the answer he’d been given. “With what my mom has said, she made you out to be some kind of _monster_ or something."

 

 _This conversation needs to end. Now._ Kylo’s hands started to sweat as he tried to control his anger. Though this boy had been wise in certain aspects, he was still nothing but a child in many ways – this had become very apparent to Kylo.

 

Slamming his fist onto the dashboard of his ship, Kylo leaned in closer to Kai. “Enough. You have a lot to learn about limitations.”

Kai reflexively stiffened in fear as he realized that he’d naively pushed too far.

 

"She’s right. I **_am_ ** a monster. Remember that," Kylo concluded with a self conviction that placed uneasiness inside of Kai. He backed away without a word and returned to where he previously sat aboard the ship.

 

As Kylo watched Kai skulk back to his seat, a passing thought flashed through his mind. _Why did he seem to be so comfortable with me? He shouldn’t be._

 

The course progressed on in silence once more.


	6. A Vision of Destiny

_What is this?_

Although it was dark, Kai could make out trees as far as he could see. He tried to force words from his lungs, but the air that surrounded him felt so cold that it constricted him.

_Am I alone? Where is everyone?_

 

The environment felt familiar, yet he couldn’t put his finger on where he was. He stretched his head around to take in his surroundings – _Everything looks the same. What am I supposed to do?_

A cold sweat took over Kai’s body. He raised his hands to the sides of his face, doing his best to regain focus.

With a deep breath in to reclaim his composure, he noticed a faint light that glowed off in the distance – calling to be noticed. Without the reassurance of knowing if it invited him, he hesitated to move forward – though his inquiring mind was unable to be quieted.

 

Curiosity trumping his panic, he moved onward. All he wanted was to find someone; anyone. He reached his hands out in front of him, hoping to sense any form of life.

_“Hello?!”_ he voiced out to anyone that would listen; his echoes returned as his only response.

 

The call of the light seemed to welcome Kai the closer he got to it. He squinted his eyes as he tried to force the light into a shape.

_Wait, is that a window?_

Kai was able to decipher that the window was part of a hut – almost feeling as if it were in a world of its’ own, separate from him.

 

Pushing through the shrubbery, it felt like destiny began to sing to him. He had an overwhelming notion that this was where he was supposed to be; his fear completely erased.

The two worlds seamlessly started to flow together without a missed beat.

 

Before he knew it, he was only feet away from the window; the entire universe falling silent for his discovery. He walked up to the window, holding his breath in anticipation – feeling like a visitor in someone else’s moment.

 

As he peered through the small window, his eyes glanced between two figures that sat across from each other – the warm glow of a fire upon their intent faces, hands reached out as they barely touched.

_Mom?!_ he gasped out loud, involuntarily.

 

What happened next took mere seconds.

The man that sat across from his mother turned his head towards the window, seemingly hearing Kai’s uttered words. Kai’s attention was forced towards the man – both of their eyes locked with confusion.

In the same instant, the hut seemed to disintegrate with a great power and pushed Kai away from the scene; an unknown person screamed in the background simultaneously.

_STOP!_

________________________________________

Kai jolted awake as his eyes jumped open.

 

"Good timing," Kylo muttered as he motioned his head towards the massive spacecraft they approached. Kai observed the ship that they were nearing closer to, at a loss for words. The sight of the mighty vessel was enough to make him briefly forget about his odd dream.

 

"And I thought _your_ ship was big," Kai joked to Kylo; a slight smirk breaking through the normally stoic expression of Kylo Ren.

 

Though Kai appeared to be composed, Kylo had a suspicion that this was yet another mask Kai had learned to wear and with that realization, he placed on his own mask.

They had both figured out a way to hide from the world.

 

Kai discreetly glanced over to examine Kylo’s mask closer. He hoped not to let the uneasy feeling in his stomach make an appearance on his face.

In all honesty, he admired the intimidating mask that Kylo Ren wore. Growing up, Kai had spent much of his time at home creating masks of his own for a sense of security, even though his mother would protest.

_"You have no reason to hide from me...you have nothing to hide, my boy."_

 

Despite the fact that he knew his mother was wrong, he would weakly smile and nod in agreement. He could never let her know about the shadows that crept into his mind late at night or the whispers of promises they brought with them. He couldn't let her know how hard it was to keep them out.

It was getting more difficult to distinguish what was real and what wasn't. Especially after the life-like dream he had woken up from; it was unlike anything he had experienced before.

_What was that...What did it mean...Was that...Kylo?_

  
  
As the command shuttle landed in the hangar, Kylo noticed that the young boy’s stare was empty; unfocused eyes full of anxiety – Kai’s mind had floated out to another world.

Kylo spoke loudly enough to bring Kai back to the reality they were currently in.

"Once we disembark, we’ll immediately report to Supreme Leader Hux and get this meeting over with. You’ll stay silent unless directly spoken to, is that understood? You can't let him know anything about you or of your relation to Rey. We don’t want Hux to believe anything other than what we present him with."

 

Without moving his gaze to meet Kylo’s, Kai unwaveringly stated,

"You act like you're the only one who knows how to wear a mask."


	7. The Asset

As the platform lowered, they could see that Stormtroopers were waiting at the bottom of the shuttles' ramp. Kylo didn’t stop to speak with them, instead he simply stomped past as if they didn't exist.

Kai didn't move, suddenly frozen from fright. The hangar was enormous and overwhelming.

"Come," Kylo enforced sternly.

Kai forced his legs to move forward through the walkway guarded on each side. While he was not much smaller than these soldiers behind masks, they still had made him feel tense. Once Kai had passed the last of the troops, two turned to follow behind him – walking in unison.

"What's up with that?" Kai mumbled.

"Silence," Kylos’ mask distorted his voice, making it deeper and more threatening.

 _More silence, great_ Kai sarcastically thought as he followed closely behind Kylo.

 

While he took in his surroundings, Kai once again noted the absence of life. Though there hadn’t been a physical touch of coldness, the unwelcome and frigid vibration was enough to make him feel numb anyways.

Everything was in proper place, there had been nothing out of line including the people and creatures they walked by in the hallway. No one spoke, and if they were speaking they would cease as soon as Kylo Ren appeared.

This was a new world for Kai. While it was true that he was around more people than he had ever encountered in his 14 years of life, he’d never felt such desolation.

 

Kylo listened to the thoughts as they swirled through Kai’s head – _worry, fear, anger, longing_ –all to be expected. These hadn’t been the thoughts that weighed heaviest on the boy, though. The memories of his mother took precedence over anything else.

_Rey._

As Kylo analysed what he was taking in, the undeniable connection he felt to Kai became more apparent. The inexplicable, invisible strings that linked them together were being pulled closer – whether Kylo wanted to acknowledge it or not. He didn’t have an explanation as to what it was that linked them, nor did he understand why he had such compassion for him.

What Kylo felt was out of his control, and he was very aware of that.

Although uncertainty lingered, there was one thing he’d been certain of: that he had an unexplained need to keep Kai safe at all costs – for Rey, and for himself.

 

Realizing that their destination had creeped up on them, Kylo collected himself and gestured to Kai that they were drawing near. After they seemed to walk through 10 minutes of twists and turns of hallways, they’d finally arrived at a massive door which was guarded by more of the troopers covered in white armor.

 _Ready?_ Kylo silently questioned.

Kai took a deep breath in and nodded, unsure of what was about to come.

 _Do I have a choice?_  

The door lifted open slowly.

________________________________________

"Ahhhh, Kylo Ren. You've finally arrived," a voice stated condescendingly.  

Kylo took a few steps towards a man who stared out into a never ending black galaxy through a floor to ceiling window.

As he followed behind, Kai couldn't help but roll his eyes; _Dramatic_ he thought.

 

"Was the entourage of Stormtroopers necessary in escorting me on my walk towards your chambers? Or did you just want someone to hold my hand, Hux?" Kylo snidely remarked.

Hux turned to face Kylo, arms behind his back – the outer corners of his lips smugly curled up. "Since you refused to tell me what trash you were dragging here, I wanted to prepare accordingly."

"Understood," Kylo responded, annoyance rang in his voice.

 

"What, or should I say _who,_ is this we have here, Ren?"

The question was directed towards Kylo, but Hux glared at Kai. Kai was silent, though not intimidated. He stood tall, no fear in his eyes.

"He was discovered in The Outer Rim," Kylo swiftly answered. "An unmarked planet on my map."

 

Hux eyed Kylo and the boy suspiciously, leaning forward and squinting his eyes as he looked between them.

"Unmarked, yes,” Hux began as he rubbed his hands together. “That must have been the source of the tracker's malfunction. It’s not often that we come across an unmapped region...The Outer Rim you say?” Hints of doubt spilled through into his response.

Kylo Ren slightly raised his voice as he changed the subject, "I was never informed that I was being tracked."

Hux mockingly laughed, "And _that_ is because I don't have to inform you of anything, Kylo Ren. I do not answer to you; it’s quite the opposite as you are responsible for answering to me. Don't be so foolish to forget that."

Holding onto his anger through squeezed fists, Kylo stepped closer to Hux.

"And you, _Supreme Leader Hux,_ must not forget that if I willed it, I could destroy you and the throne on which you sit," Kylo hissed without hesitation.

"Careful, Ren," Hux spoke with a clearly agitated undertone, but still managed to declare dominance. "You are nothing more than a mere guard dog to me. Remember your place."

 

 _He's doing this on_ **_purpose_ ** Kai thought conclusively. _He wants to provoke Kylo._

Sensing the volatile and enraged Kylo Ren, Kai knew that this could end unfavorably.

 

"The...the void," Kai sputtered out.

Hux and Kylo jerked their heads towards the boys’ distraction.

"The void," Kai repeated, this time more confident in his assertion. "That's what I know it by...The planet, I mean." He continued on, "I was abducted from my home planet of Tatooine when I was a child. When my abductors realized my powers, they abandoned me there."

"It was very scarcely populated..nothing but scavengers from what I saw," Kylo added on as he backed away from Hux, impressed at what Kai had done to deescalate the situation.

Hux jeered, "How fitting. My very own First Order scavenger, searching for one scavenger but finding a separate one," more intrigued by his follow up question, "Powers?"

Kylo took over the conversation, "I sensed something and assumed it was the girl – obviously I was mistaken. I found out upon our meeting that Kai is Force sensitive."

"And what do you plan on doing with **_Kai_ ** now?" Hux asked as he stepped closer to Kai while he studied his face intently.

The way his name slithered out from between Hux's lips made Kai cringe.

"He can be an asset and will be trained under me," Kylo asserted.

 

Hux, now inches from Kai, leaned forward and took in every detail of the child he stood eye to eye with. "Under my command," Hux implored through a whisper, quiet but firm.

No one responded.

"Kylo Ren, you are under my command. If this boy is to be trained under you, it needs to be made clear that I am the one that’s in charge. If an order is given by me, it's to be followed without question. Is that understood?" Hux declared staring at Kai, conniving grin plastered on his face.


	8. Fear and Balance

“This is where you’ll be staying while we’re aboard The Supremacy,” Kylo informed Kai as the door shut behind them. “I’ll be in the next room over. No one will bother you.”

 _Bother me?_ _Why would he care if anyone bothered me?_

 

At the beginning of their journey, Kai had only worried about what Kylo Ren would do to him; the pain that would be inflicted. That had all changed. His perception of Kylo had been skewed – he didn’t seem like the person that his mother had made him out to be.

Kai found himself searching for Kylo’s approval and he didn’t understand why.

There was a lot that he still couldn’t figure out about Kylo Ren. He didn’t understand why Kylo had taken the orders instead of giving them out himself. Wasn’t he the monster? Wasn’t he to be feared? Every predetermined notion Kai had of Kylo Ren had been thrown away at that point.

“I don’t get it,” Kai spoke out as Kylo had turned to leave the room.

 

Kylo stopped his movement towards the door, “Get what?”

“Why do you follow Hux’s orders? Aren’t you the one with the capabilities? Can’t you be in charge? Couldn’t you squish the life out of him and take over?” Kai’s eyes lit up as the words spilled from his mouth.

 

Kylo could feel the excitement raise in Kai’s voice as he spoke of the idea of overthrowing a leader.

_Odd._

 

While it was true that Kylo could have taken over if he pleased, he had personal reasons as to why he didn’t. Being a leader had never been a priority to him. To find Rey had been his only mission for over a decade – it consumed him. Someone else finding and executing her first was not a risk he’d been willing to take. Hux being preoccupied with his supremacy role allowed for Kylo to be the main source of hunting down Rey – without interference.

“Somethings aren’t for you to understand or question,” Kylo answered sternly and trudged out.

 

Kai stared at him as he left the room and noted that Kylo was much less intimidating without the mask. He could see the depth of his eyes, and it wasn’t something to be feared. Kai was drawn to the mysterious aura that Kylo expelled and he knew that he wouldn’t give up trying to figure out more about him.

_Whatever you say._

 

Being alone for the first time since the ordeal had started, Kai sat in silence while observing the space that he would stay in: gray walls, a small bed, a metal side table and two chairs.

_Bleak. Nothing._

Kai had never liked when his thoughts were the only company he had. They seemed to take on a life of their own – an entity that would grab hold and refuse to let go.

_I need to meditate._

 

In the past, Kai would put himself into a meditative state to assist in helping draw himself out of the anxiety, but this time was different. He could feel as his body tensed up. His anxieties had started to collapse in on him and the room started to feel like it was getting smaller. The shadows crept in even as he shook his head in hopes of erasing them.

_How much time has passed? Is this real?_

Unhappy with the solitude that he'd been left with, he found himself walking out of the door and into the hallway towards any interaction he could find.

 

He’d been stuck on an island his whole life, but he had never gone a day with true loneliness – Kai began to figure out that loneliness may be his biggest weakness. His mother was always there to help ease his worries. Kai’s heart ached for the feel of her warmth...

_The next room. He told me the next room._

Without a second thought, he banged on the door next to his. Immediately, the door slid open.

 

Kylo stood there in silence as he examined the boy who stood in front of him. Kai stared back at him, glossed over eyes that held a look of pure terror. Kylo could see tears had welled up, easily discerning the distress coursing through the child's mind; they were practically screams.

Kylo stepped to the side to allow Kai to enter his room.  

“I just...I mean, I couldn’t...I was…” Kai stammered as he drifted in, not able to form a coherent sentence.

 

Kylo raised his hand towards him, “There doesn’t need to be an explanation. Sit.”

He motioned towards the chair in one corner of the room, taking a seat opposite of Kai.

 

Unknown to Kai, Kylo Ren understood these intrusive and uncontrollable thoughts more than Kai would ever know. As Kylo reflected back to the times when he felt blanketed in unwanted darkness, he remembered how all he’d ever wanted was for someone to comfort him. Instead, he believed that he was discarded like garbage. 

Unwilling to let Kai feel that pain, he decided to talk him through his fear.

“This’ll be your first lesson.”

 

Kai looked up as he fought back his tears.  


“It’s better to face your fear than to run from it. Sometimes, the fear is a reaction to something you feel is inherently dark. Sometimes, the fear comes from a place of uncertainty to an unknown that needs to be explored more – so that you can understand where it’s coming from.”

Kylo paused for a moment before he closed his eyes and continued on in a soft voice, “It’s your responsibility to find out which is correct for your own experience – for your own story.”

 

Entranced by the serenity exuding from Kylo, Kai felt a comfort he’d never received before – not even from his mother. It was guidance he hadn’t realized he needed. For the first time ever, Kai felt like someone actually understood him.

 

“Light and dark. Negative and positive. Life and death,” Kylo continued, “Attainable balance is in between.”

 

Impulsively, Kai blurted out, _“_ Where’s your balance? Why did you pick the dark side, then? _”_

Kai flinched as the words left his mouth. Embarrassed at his lack of courtesy, he quickly forced his stare down to the floor – his cheeks burned a hot pink.

_Why did I say that?_

 

After a few moments, he turned his head back up to Kylo to search for a reaction. To Kai’s surprise, he didn’t look offended. Kylo still sat there, calm and relaxed.

 

Kylo held a stoic expression as he opened his eyes. He kept steady eye contact with Kai; eye contact that forced Kai to look deeper within.

 

“I didn’t choose. My path was chosen for me.”


	9. Curiosity

Kylo followed Kai out as they exited his room. Confused, Kai asked, “Where are you going?”

“Return to your room. Stay there until I’m back. I’ll get you in the morning,” and with that, Kylo put his mask on and tramped down the hall – almost as if he were on a mission.

 

Knowing that he wouldn't get anymore information out of Kylo, Kai decided not to argue back this time. 

Once back in his room, Kai kicked off his shoes and slumped down onto the bed. He hadn't been aware of how exhausted he was until he reflected back on everything that had occurred over the days that seemingly melted together – so much so that he wasn’t sure how many days it had actually been.

As he replayed the events that'd taken place so far, the dream that he had on Kylo’s ship popped back into his mind.

 

_What kind of dream was that? The woman...that was my mom. What was she doing?_

_And that man...he looked like Kylo. What were they doing together? How did they get there?_

_Do they know each other more than what they’ve led me to believe?_

_It was just a dream, wasn’t it?_

_Why would I have a dream like that?..._

 

Kai hadn't realized that he dozed off until there was a knock at his door. He slowly pulled himself up and sat on the edge of the bed as he rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up. 

Running his hand through his unkempt hair, he attempted to weave his thoughts together.

_It’s probably Kylo. What time is it..?_

 

Three more knocks followed.

 

“Okay, okay. I’m coming, geesh. Some of us sleep, you know.”

 

When Kai opened the door, it wasn't who he'd expected to see. Instead, he was faced with three Stormtroopers. They stared at him in silence.

Taken aback, Kai was unsure of what to say as a lump grew inside of his throat.

He swallowed hard and finally forced out a reaction to their presence.

“Oh...uhhh how can I help you?”

 

“We’re here to escort you to a meeting,” the leading trooper said stalely.

 

_A meeting? What?_

Kai rebutted with a shrug while his eyes nervously searched for something to stare at.

"I’m not really supposed to leave this room without Kylo so…”

 

“These are Supreme Leader Hux’s orders. You will return with us now.”

 

Kai’s stomach dropped as he was brought back to their earlier meeting; the meeting where Supreme Leader Hux informed him that he was supposed to abide by his orders, regardless of Kylo Ren.

“But what about Kylo?”

 

The Stormtroopers chose not to respond with words. Instead, one of them held up a pair of handcuffs as an alternative.

 

 _Oh_ ** _now_** _there’s handcuffs._

“Alright, calm down. I’ll follow you, boss. Can I at least grab my shoes?”

______________________________________

 

 _What have I gotten myself into?_ Kai contemplated as he was ushered towards an unknown destination. _This isn’t good. I wonder if Kylo knew about this?_

 

While he’d hoped that this meeting wouldn’t be a nefarious one, Kai knew better than to underestimate Hux. After watching how he meticulously attempted to rile Kylo up, Kai was conscious of the fact that Hux probably had ulterior motives; not only for Kylo, but for himself as well.

Determined to stay level headed, Kai walked on in silence. He decided that he would do his best to get through this meeting with a calm and collected demeanor – leaving out any opportunity for Hux to dig into mind games.

_Like Kylo said, this is my story. I choose how to react._

 

Lost in thought, Kai failed to realize that the stormtroopers had stopped – he walked directly into the trooper in front of him, pushing the soldier forward.

“Clumsy, are we?” a voice said ahead of him, blocked and hidden by two troopers. “Bring him in.”

 

Kai clenched his teeth tightly. _Hux._

 

As he was escorted in, Kai noticed it had been the same area from the first time they met. A desk was placed in the middle the room – Hux sat there with his hands folded neatly on the tabletop.

 

Kai planned to look as unbothered as possible while still keeping his distance.

“Out of all of the space on this ship, you’d think The Supreme Leader would have more than one room.”

 

Hux grinned at the brazen comment in acknowledgment, but jumped directly into conversation.

“What are your plans, Kai?”

 

_Plans? Plans for what?_

 

Hux noticed a perplexed look accompanied by the slight tilt of Kai’s head.

“Why did you agree to be taken by Kylo Ren? Surely you could have put up a fight with these powers I've been informed that you posses.”

 

“Curiosity,” Kai answered in a simplistic response, lifting his shoulder in a half shrug.

This answer wasn’t far from the truth – while Kai initially agreed to go with Kylo to protect his mother, he really had been curious about the outside world and where his place in it was. The curiosity had only intensified as his time with Kylo progressed on.

 

“Tempted by curiosity? From what I understand, that’s looked down upon from Jedi Padawans,” Hux attested with an eyebrow raise – a sarcastic look drawn on his face; his own curiosity peaked.

“Padawan? Who said anything about wanting to be a Jedi? And aren’t the Jedi gone, anyways? They’re just stories,” Kai sneered nonchalantly, roaming around the room to stay distracted by minor details of the chamber he was in – anything to take the focus off of the nervousness he so desperately didn’t want Hux to notice.

 

Hux crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his chair – basking in pleasure with the fact that he'd found himself a small opening to continue his interrogation. This had been the opportunity he'd been searching for.

A few short moments passed before Hux stood up and lurched towards Kai with interest. 

“Pardon me for assuming your aspirations. I see you’re aware of some of the history. How were you informed?”

 

 _Ah, that’s it._ Kai thought to himself as he grasped where this “meeting” was going. Hux wanted information: about him, about where he came from. Thoughts of his mother invaded his mind.

Under the pressure of panic, Kai reacted without delay;

“It’s not classified information. Talk to anyone enough, you can find out anything.”

 

“Indeed you can,” Hux countered immediately as he grabbed Kai’s shoulder, forcing eye contact for a few seconds.

Hux searched for the answers he desired – a look burned in his eyes as proof that he would ultimately retrieve the information that he sought.

Breaking the connection with Kai, Hux spoke up to the remaining troopers; “You are dismissed from my chambers. Your assistance is no longer needed at this time. Stand guard in the hall and inform me when Kylo Ren arrives.”

 

_He’s anticipating Kylo’s arrival...does that mean Kylo IS aware of this?_

Kai felt uneasy at where this conversation had been led.

_Does he know something already?_

He felt as if he was being backed into a corner.

 

“What exactly do you want from me?” Kai held his breath as he waited for a response.


	10. Parallels

Hux turned away as he put his arms behind his back. “Do you know who Kylo Ren is, Kai?"

A switch flipped within Kai when Kylo’s name was brought up. He instantly turned defensive as the advice Kylo Ren had given him faded from his mind – his control quickly started to slip away.

 

“His reputation precedes him,” Kai caustically answered.

“So why would you agree to train under him? Are you interested in following his footsteps to the darker side? It can’t only come from a place of curiosity,” Hux continued on, plan in full effect. “A spot in The First Order may be fitting for you…”

"I have no interest in the First Order. I have no interest in the Jedi. Dark or light, I don’t really care. I’m nothing,” Kai cantankerously spit out as he stepped towards Hux with closed fists.

“Quick tempered. Interesting similarity to Kylo Ren. Maybe you _will_ do well training under him.” A devilish smirk pulled up at Hux’s lips. He turned around to face Kai, noticing that the distance between the two of them had become shorter.

 

As he studied Kai’s pale, freckled face, he could recognize the indistinguishable physical likeness between both him and Kylo Ren – messy dark hair, slim features, same quivering lips – bringing up even more suspicion.

“Maybe you and I both should be questioning this parallel amongst you two.”

 

 _What...similarities?_ Kai’s mind raced as he started putting pieces of his broken puzzle together.

 

Seconds after the words left Hux’s mouth, shouts and thundering crashes could be heard coming from outside of the door. Hux pinched the bridge of his nose; annoyance read throughout his face. “Ren...” he murmured, unsurprised by what had taken place. He would never put it past Kylo to lash out.

The door blew open and Kylo Ren stomped in past the rubble, as though he were out for blood.

“Was that necessary? You ruined my door,” Hux said, unamused.

 

Not vocalizing a response at first, Kylo raised his hand which lifted Hux at the same time. “I am to be informed of any and all interactions you are having with **MY** apprentice, are we clear?”

Hux then flew across the room into a wall – a mirror broken as a casualty. He struggled to get up as he gurgled in pain.

Kylo gave a mirthless laugh as he stared down at The Supreme Leader writhing in agony. “You may be The Supreme Leader, but you **_will_ ** respect me and the power I have over you.”

 

After a few moments, a new set of stormtroopers had reached them – weapons already drawn and pointed at Kylo Ren.

Kai had been in shock; frozen without an idea of what to do. He’d never been involved with such violence before. Snapping back from his state of surprise, an urge to destroy came over him. All Kai wanted to do was stand with Kylo Ren – protect him.

He followed Kylo Ren’s lead without question. Kai lifted his hand and concentrated, picking up 3 stormtroopers at once.

Kylo jerked his head towards Kai – all he could sense was darkness. A sadistic look had washed over Kai’s face, making him almost unrecognizable. Kai continued to choke the stormtroopers as they flailed, failing to escape his invisible grasp.

_What did I do? He has to stop. I can’t let him do this. He can’t go this way._

 

Kylo had been so focused on the situation at hand that he failed to notice Hux gather the strength to get up. As Hux struggled to steady his gait, he took in the scene around him – hastily aiming his blaster at Kai.

As the blaster shot, Kai raised his other hand – freezing the blast in mid air. He slowly turned his head towards Hux with a cold-blooded gaze; a mischievous smirk peeked through.

“Am I First Order material enough for you now, **_Supreme Leader Hux_** _?_ "

 

The vicious, mocking nature of Kai’s words slapped Hux in the face. Hux stared in disbelief as a grin formed at the corners of his mouth.

_Yes. Yes you are._

 

The unvoiced words of Hux had been loud enough for Kylo to hear.

_I can’t lose him to this._

“Enough Kai! That’s enough!” Kylo begged, holding his hand out to Kai. His words didn’t pierce through to the young boy that he desperately tried to reach underneath. “I said **enough**!”

Kylo ignited his lightsaber in an attempt to threaten Kai, pointing it directly at him. “Come back!”

 

As Kai’s attention towards Hux broke, he looked at Kylo – a pleading look plastered onto his face. Kai noticed the lightsaber that was pointed directly at him, gasping as his eyes widened with fear. He then maneuvered his head to look at the mess that surrounded him. Instantly, his heart broke as he realized that it had been him that created this chaos.

_What am I doing?_

Kai lowered his hands and collapsed, completely erased of all energy.


	11. Difficult Decisions

Kai had gone in and out of awareness as Kylo carried him back to his command shuttle.

“7 years bad luck,” he fought to whimper out.

 

Kylo responded with a look of uncertainty. “What?”

 

“You broke a mirror. That’s 7 years of bad luck. You might have broke Hux, too. I’m not sure what that’ll add on,” Kai forced out before he nodded off into a state of unconsciousness. Kylo felt his lips part ever so slightly into a smile.

 

Kylo knew he didn’t have much time to get to his ship before the hordes of troopers attempted to stop them. He wasn’t sure what would happen; maybe they would try to take them captive and prosecute them – maybe they would attempt to kill them on the spot. He could put up a fight; he had the ability to hold them all off for a while, Kylo knew that much.

The notion that this could be his chance to try to destroy it all crossed his mind; The First Order, Hux, control of the galaxy – none of it would ever matter again. He had been caught up in a battle of tug of war within himself. _Is that what I should be worried about?_

There was a possibility of life lost, and that possibility would include Kai. Kylo was faced with a choice of which path he wanted to go down.

 

_I need to get him back on my ship. We need to get out of here._

 

As Kylo entered the hangar, he’d expected there to be alarms and Tie-Fighters preparing to take him down.

There was nothing but an eerie silence.

Once on board, Kylo gently placed Kai into one of the passenger seats behind him and ran to the front of his ship to begin a quick take off. Much to his surprise, they had made it out without a hitch. It was almost as if the First Order had given up the chase…

Kylo grazed over the radars to make sure that they weren’t being followed.

 

Again, nothing.

 

He took advantage of the fact that they were alone and entered in the memorized coordinates to Ahch-To while he switched the ship to auto pilot.

 

Before boarding his ship, Kylo hadn’t had time to asses the damage Kai had inflicted upon himself with the amount of energy he’d exerted. Sure that they weren’t being followed, he directed his attention back to Kai.

He looked over Kai – he was in a weakened state but would ultimately be okay. Without a doubt, Kai had never released that much energy at once. It hadn’t been surprising that he was completely wiped out. As Kylo took in the picture of this peaceful looking child, he was shaken up with what he witnessed only a short time before: he’d seen Kai’s confliction manifest itself – and it had taken the shape of darkness.

_I need to know more about him..._ _to understand him._

 

Although it wasn’t something he enjoyed doing without permission, Kylo carefully delved into Kai’s unconscious. He delicately steered through dreams and hopes; memories of his mother. He watched as moments of Rey replayed – her smiling face stared at him. Kylo hadn't been surprised that her warmth was strong enough to be felt through memories.

He continued to cycle through Kai’s brain looking for answers. He sifted through the stories Rey had told Kai as he grew. They felt empty – Rey had taken herself out of them. So much was missing. All of the their history had been erased.

 

_Why?_

 

His chest felt heavy as he realized that he was no longer a part of her past – Ben Solo was nowhere to be found. Only Kylo Ren had been mentioned; a monster in Rey’s eyes, just as Kai had said.

Kylo felt as tears began to form in the corners of his eyes. His greatest fear had been realized – not only had he felt alone all of this time, but Rey wanted nothing more than for him to be dead; nothing but a distant memory.

 

Before he had time to dwell on the discovery, his attention suddenly shifted to something else. Kylo had come across a part of Kai’s thoughts that had been deeply buried and tightly locked away.

_Loneliness. Emptiness._

Kai struggled with a war inside of himself; he felt like he didn’t belong. He didn’t trust the person that he was.

 _He thinks he’s a mistake_ – _t_ _hat he’s destined for corruption._

This realization struck Kylo's soul. He was all too familiar with that feeling. Kai and Kylo related to each other on a much deeper level than he could have ever imagined, and he wasn't sure how that could be possible. He hadn’t shared this much empathy with a person since... _Rey._

 

The dark secret Kylo discovered led him onto the next – one that made his heart sink deep into his stomach.

_He...doesn’t know his father?_

 

Kylo had assumed that there had been a family life – he had no reason to believe otherwise. He hadn’t seen another person with Rey the day he arrived, so he figured that Kai’s father died protecting what he loved: his family.

That’s what Rey and all of the other Resistance members had been so good at.

Something that Kylo had only dreamed he could do.

 

Kylo tightly clutched the information he had obtained as he tried to fit it all together.

_We're so much alike. How can that be? There's no way..._

 

“What are you doing?” Kai shot up quickly. “Were you just...picking through my brain? Why would you do that?”

Kylo had been so lost in thought he hadn’t realized that Kai had come to.

Promptly rising to his feet, Kai stumbled to catch his balance. Kylo aided in catching him before he hit the ground.

 

“There’s so much that I don’t understand about you and I'm trying to figure you out...” Kylo’s guard had been momentarily let down, causing him to stumble over his words.

Kai looked on somberly, “As you once told me, some things aren’t meant to be understood.”

While Kylo helped him back to his seat, Kai added, “Especially if that person doesn’t even understand them himself.”

 

As he regained his composure, Kylo walked himself back to the pilot's seat. He put his elbows on the dash, holding his face in his hands – what happened moments before still pulsed through him.

_Am I the person that he needs right now? Or will I only damage him more?_

Kylo came to a hard conclusion, and he knew what needed to be done. He lifted his head as he spoke his final decision. “We’re going back.”

 

“Going back?” Kai questioned, “To the Supremacy?”

“No, to your mother. I’m bringing you back. Having you with me is a danger, that’s clear. I need to take you back.”

 

Kai felt his anxiety rise and sputtered out, “But I just got here. I mean, we just started. Am I not your apprentice? I won’t hurt you, I promise. I’m sorry I messed up, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know I’m not good enough, I just…”

Kylo cut him off, “Good enough? Kai, I’m worried about your safety with me, not my safety with you. I’m not afraid of you.”

 

Without knowing if it was the correct thing to say, Kai impulsively said the only thing that came to mind – “I’ve never felt like I belonged anywhere more than with you. I can learn so much from you, Kylo. We can take on anything...together. I’m not afraid of you either.”

 

Although Kylo had wanted nothing more than to tell Kai he didn’t want to leave his side, he knew it was for the best. He couldn’t risk Kai following his lead or influence – he didn’t want to risk creating a sturdy bridge to the dark side for the young boy.

Kylo decided to make the right decision: to save what he cared for.

“I’m taking you back. I’ll figure out a way to keep the First Order at bay until you and Rey can flee Ahch-To safely.”

 

Kylo’s heart broke into pieces as the words slipped from between his teeth. He couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Kai to hear them – that this was yet another place he didn’t belong.


	12. Answers

Dusk had arrived. The suns had started to set on the island. There had been a slight chill stuck in the salty air.

Rey waited inside of the house as she watched a ship approach on a cloudless horizon. Although she hoped that this wasn’t a trap, her instincts had taught her to suspect otherwise. Time seemed to move forward in slow motion as she waited for the ship to finally make landfall a few yards in front of her home.

As the spacecraft’s door opened, and the ramp motored out, she looked on intently as she held her breath – still hesitant to go outside. After a moment, Rey watched Kai as he stepped off of the platform. She dashed out of the front door towards him, arms wide in anticipation of his embrace.

 

“You’re home! I didn’t know when to expect you back, but I’m so happy that you’re home!” Rey hugged Kai, barely able to contain her excitement at her sons’ return.

She was surprised when Kai didn’t mirror her enthusiasm. “I missed you too, mom,” he stated solemnly.

 

“What is it? What happened?” Rey questioned just as she noticed Kylo hadn’t exited the ship. “What did he do?”

 

“Why do you assume it’s him? I messed up, big time..” Kai hesitated before letting out a sigh. “I couldn’t control myself. I wish I could take it back. I really don’t belong anywhere. No wonder my father wanted nothing to do with me.”

It had been obvious the words pained Kai as he spoke them out loud. Rey reached for his hand, but he pulled away instantly.

“Don’t.”

Without another word, Kai walked himself inside – a slammed door followed behind him.

 

Shattered at the sight of her boy, Rey clutched her chest. All she wanted was to follow him; to scoop him up and tell him that it would be okay. But she knew that wasn’t what would make this right. She had to start somewhere else first.

Rey inspected Kylo’s command shuttle as she moved closer. “Kylo? Are you there?” she queried as she searched for the other occupant.

 

Kylo stepped towards the edge of the platform, just enough so Rey was able to locate him.

 

Unsettled by the distress she could plainly see painted on his face, she pressed forward. “What happened?”

 

He watched as she ambled up the the ramp towards him, a look of concern pierced through her eyes to him; it was as if she already knew the answer. “He can’t stay with me. I need to leave, now. It’s not safe that I’m here.”

 

“Is someone following you?” Rey asked, worried at the thought of a fleet of ships arriving at her doorstep.

 

“I don’t know if they’ve followed me yet. But I don’t doubt that they’ll come, eventually. I’m not worried about what happens to me. You and Kai need to flee this island, get as far away from it as possible.” Kylo faltered as he swallowed his pride. “And I need to get away from the both you. It’s the only way you’ll stay safe.”

 

Though Rey had been astonished by his current selflessness to the situation, she had known it was always there within him. It only reassured her that the conclusion she’d reached was what needed to be done.

*****

While Kylo and Kai had been away, Rey was left in solitude. At first, she had been angry that Kylo arrived when he did – she felt like he ruined everything that she’d worked so hard to build for Kai. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she was angry at herself for creating a facade. In retrospect, Kylo couldn’t have came at a better time.

Prior to Kylos arrival, Rey had taken note of a decline in Kai’s mental health; it’d been hard for him to keep in their reality. At times it seemed as if he lost himself and took on a whole different entity – even if only for a brief moment – before he was able to pull himself from it.

He began to ask more questions about what his purpose in this life was, and if it were possible to be overtaken by emotion – if that’s why his father didn’t want him. He had cried to his mother, afraid that he couldn’t control himself. Rey was at a loss for how to help him.

Over the course of a week or so, she had ample time to mull over everything she had locked away for so long: the pain, the truth, the fear. She accepted the mistakes she’d made – with Kai, with Kylo – and she was ready to do whatever she needed to make them right.

 

Rey knew that she couldn’t save her boy alone.

*****

“Please...don’t go. Not yet. We need to talk,” Rey felt as her pleads trickled from her mouth involuntarily. Alas, she didn’t retract her statement. She let the words settle into Kylo’s ears and hoped that they would resonate.

 

Kylo could hear the desperation in her voice. She had a look in her eye that he’d dreamt about for years. _Longing._

At the start of his journey, Kylo hadn’t made a decision on what he would do once he found Rey. He didn’t know if he would kill her, if he would capture her, or if he would see her once and leave her alone. Deep down, he only sought answers. He covered his pain with anger – the only defense mechanism he’d ever learned.

After searching through Kai’s mind, he decided that he had the answers he needed – regardless of how painful they were. “There’s no time. I don’t need anything from you, Rey. I’m trying to protect you.”

 

“Protect me?” She echoed. “Just like I had tried to protect Kai for all of these years?”

 

“You kept him safe, you kept you and your family safe. From the First Order and from me; the **_monster_ ** you feared. I have the answers that I needed.”

 

Rey took a step closer to Kylo as she softly grabbed his arm. Kylo shuttered at the touch of another being and jerked away. He’d forgotten what it felt like.

“That’s the problem – what you think you’ve already figured out is wrong. Please, stay. For a bit, at least. You deserve the **_real_ ** answers to the questions I know you have. Why else would you seek me out to the ends of the universe to begin with, Kylo Ren?” she turned around with a coy smile, high hopes that Kylo would follow.

 

As Rey stepped off the platform, Kylo watched as she walked away. _I don’t know what I’m supposed to do._

Rey glanced back, the smile still pulled at the corners of her lips as reassurance. Kylo followed her pull reflexively. After all of this time, he was still connected to her by an invisible string. He couldn’t refuse.


	13. The Truth Revealed

Kylo trailed behind Rey and kept his distance, unsure of what was to come. She'd led him to an area that had been cleared, a few minutes walking distance from her house. A makeshift fire pit sat in between old blankets and stones that were arranged as seats.

 

Dusk had turned to night as Rey started a small fire. She took a moment to shoot a look towards Kylo who still stood feet away.

“Well, come on. What are you waiting for? Kai and I sit out here to talk all of the time. I figured this was as good a place as any.”

Kylo studied Rey as she sat down. His heart was in his chest while he searched to find an explanation for what was unfolding in front of him. The scene was reminiscent of a past he'd all but forgotten – a past he shared with Rey. He couldn’t help but to feel apprehensive.

The last time he’d been there, the day that he found Rey, she’d made it abundantly clear that she hadn’t wanted him there at all. Before that, they hadn’t had contact in 15 years due to her abandonment. He later discovered that she’d told her son that he was dead. Everything up to that point had led Kylo to believe that Rey wanted nothing to do with him. What changed?

 

“What is this? What are you doing?”

Rey regained a pensive look. “I’m talking, you’re sitting.”

She pointed to a place for him to sit.

Still suspicious, Kylo took a seat next to the fire – opposite of Rey. His hands trembled uncontrollably.

It didn’t take long for her to notice how uneasy Kylo felt. Rey began to lift her hand towards him – as she used to, for comfort – but paused and dropped her hand back to her side.

 

“It's been a long time,” she began as she stared at the ground, her voice had started to shake. “I didn’t think this would ever be happening; me explaining myself to you.”

Even after only a few moments, Kylo already had so much he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that an explanation is all that he'd desired; how her disappearance and silence had tortured him throughout the years, turning him into someone he didn’t recognize anymore.

When she left, she took whatever remained of him with her. All Kylo had wished for was for Rey to realize the amount of pain she'd inflicted upon him.

As his thoughts began to boil inside of him, his hair stuck to his forehead from the sweat that had formed – a physical display of nerves.

 

Rey briefly paused to take in Kylo’s reaction, noticing that he’d been doing his best to show irrevocable reticence.

“I haven’t been honest with anyone, myself included. I foolishly thought if I locked the past away, it would vanish; like it never existed at all. I wanted to rewrite it so badly. Not only was I wrong, but I’ve screwed up quite a bit along the way.”

Rey motioned back towards the house as tears filled her eyes. “I’ve lied to my son his whole life, when all I wanted to do was protect him. Instead of protecting him, I’ve created this conflict inside of him. I’ve selfishly kept the answers to his questions a secret. There’s an empty space in him...a void – one that I could never fill. And now the darkness in him is spilling over. I’ve done it all wrong.”

“Protect him from what, Rey?” Kylo spoke his first words in the conversation. “The dark side? His Force sensitivity? The First Order?”

“His father,” Rey cut in.

Stunned at her response, Kylo could only utter, “His father?”

 

Overwrought, Rey stared into Kylo’s eyes as she prepared to release a secret that had eaten at her core for 15 years – one that had been kept for far too long.

“You’re his father, Ben. It’s you.”

 

Kylo immediately jolted upright to his feet. Unable to comprehend the information, he stepped back in shock  **–** the color drained from his face completely.

Rey stood to meet him, reaching her arms out to him. “I was afraid of what you’d do. I didn’t know which way you’d go. I couldn’t read you anymore, Ben.”

“Ben?!” Kylo shouted out. “You took _Ben_ with you when you left. You suffocated any chance of him returning. You didn’t give me a chance to react...you didn’t give me a choice. You chose for me. I never thought that you would be the one to do that.”

Kylo balled his fists in an attempt to control his anger. “You left me no choice but to fall back onto Kylo Ren. I’m Kylo Ren.”

 

Rey collapsed in on herself; she had nothing to argue back. Kylo was right; everything he yelled at her had been correct.

Doing his best to regain composure, Kylo turned his back to Rey. He rolled his neck with a deep inhale in an attempt to collect his thoughts.

“I haven’t felt human since you abandoned me, Rey. Hearing Ben come out of your mouth tugs at what’s left of my soul. Now, it’s nothing but a reminder of who I so badly wanted to be for you.”

 

Rey sat on her knees with her hands buried into her face.  “Kai’s so much like you. I was reminded of the best parts of you everyday,” Rey whimpered.

Kylo scoffed coldly, “And I’ve missed it all **_because of_ ****_you_**. I wouldn’t know if he was or not.”

 

Tears streamed down Kylo’s cheek as he tramped back to his ship.

_How could she do this?_

_She hid him from me?_

_I have a son who I’ll never get to know?_

_Kai is my son._

 

Kylo struck a nearby boulder as rage grew within him; anything to release some of the pain. He’d been furious at Rey for what she’d done, but he would’ve never been able to live with himself if he did anything to hurt her. _Even after that._

His heart had been ripped open by Rey, once again – his world had crashed down around him. He tried to continue towards his ship, but his legs gave way as he buckled to the ground.

 

_This was a mistake. Seeking her out was a mistake._

 

There was nothing he could do but weep.

Alone.


	14. Stay

Kylo propped himself up on his knees as he slouched over. His face was buried deep in his hands while he attempted to piece together his shattered remains. On a subconscious level, Kylo had already known that Kai was his. There’d been too many similarities to go unnoticed; their connection ran so deep from the start.

But accepting this truth had proven to be difficult.

 

Although slightly startled by a sudden grip on his shoulder, Kylo didn’t have to question who it was.

“How could you do this, Rey? To me...to Kai,” Kylo choked out through tears as he tried to comprehend everything.

“I was afraid of what you’d do – how you’d react to me carrying our child. So I left you, out of fear. I was wrong and I want to make it right, ” Rey ran her fingers through Kylo’s hair as she aimed to calm him – she had missed the feel of the strands as they flowed between her fingers.

 _Afraid? She was afraid of me?_ Kylo struggled to come to terms with what he heard _._ Rey had been afraid of his reaction. _And_ _look at how I’ve reacted now._

 

After a moment, Rey persisted on. “You have every right to be upset with me, and I would understand if you never wanted to face me again. But please...don’t block Kai out now that you know.”

“I haven’t felt anything until I met Kai. There’s an undeniable connection,” Kylo quickly declared without hesitation.

Squatting down in front of Kylo, Rey gently grabbed his face to make him look at her. “I want to make this right with you, Ben.”

She wiped his tears as they continued to fall. “Kai deserves to know the truth. I know it’s late, and I can’t change what I’ve already messed up...but I can help get it back on track. He deserves to know the real person that you are, not the stories that I’ve told.”

 

Their gazes were locked on each other as they took in the person before them. Rey momentarily got lost in the eyes of the person that she'd once been so deeply connected to.

She extended a final affirmation. “Please know that you deserve better than what I’ve done to you. Both of you do.”

With no response from Kylo, Rey stood up to give him the space she figured he needed. She knew she couldn’t force him into anything. “I’ll leave you be then.”

 

As Kylo sifted through what Rey said, he snatched her wrist before she walked away – slowly rising to his feet. “You destroyed me.”

“I know and I’m...” Rey started before Kylo interjected firmly.

“No. It’s my turn.”

Surprised by the harshness of his response, Rey silenced herself.

 

“You destroyed me and everything I aspired to be when you left. You reminded me that I wasn’t, and had never been, strong enough to do it alone. The mask of Kylo Ren is all that I had left of myself.” Kylo came apart as he allowed himself to speak the words out loud for the first time.

Rey sank away from Kylo as she heard the conviction in his voice. Her heart broke for the torment and anguish she could clearly feel that she had caused him. She'd tried to help mend him before she left, but had ended up breaking him again.

 

“I will never be able to explain how hard of a choice it was, Ben. Nor will I be able to convey how much I hate myself for hurting you the way that I did. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. The path I chose was wrong for everybody involved, which resulted in awful consequences.”

Kylo stepped towards Rey to close some of the distance she had created. He could see the guilt and pain as it dripped from her through tears. Regardless of the sorrow he experienced, his chest still ached as he watched Rey cry.

“I forced you into a situation. I forced you to go back to a place you wanted to be free of so badly and I’ll never forgive myself,” Rey instinctively moved closer to Kylo as she spoke. They were inexplicably drawn to one another like magnets while in each others presence.

 

Kylo quivered with hesitation as he lightly caressed her arm with his fingertips – he felt his heart pound at the warmth of her skin.

As Rey shuddered at his touch, her senses came alive. Her body remembered how his fingers felt as they glided across her.

Kylo allowed his eyes to follow Rey's shape from her head to her feet – mesmerized by her very existence, he couldn’t help but take in every piece of her.

 

“I don’t know what I am without you, Rey. I don’t feel real. I felt like I was going to disappear when you left. I broke,” Kylo could feel his voice split in an attempt to hold back how broken he really was.

Tears flowed from Rey’s eyes as she turned her head to the side and wept. “I’m not asking for forgiveness – I don’t deserve forgiveness. I’m only asking you to _stay_. For Kai...for _me._ ”

 _She wants me to stay._ Kylo looked on as Rey sobbed into her hands.

 

Though Kylo had been angry, he still sympathized with her. He knew Rey’s heart had always been in the right place – even if that meant it would hurt both of them. There’d always been great difficulty with him staying mad at her.

But that didn’t change what he’d already decided to do long before he found out that he was in fact Kai’s father. If anything, it made Kylo’s choice even more clear: he couldn’t risk losing Kai to the dark side, or losing either of them to the First Order.

“It’s not safe for either of you. I won’t risk creating even more of an opening to the dark side for him.”

 

Rey lifted her stare towards Kylo – awestruck. She’d never forgotten that she loved him, but she had forgotten how much that love burned a hole directly through her. Hearing him talk about protecting their son only furthered that realization.

“You may have made the choice to hide him away from me, but you were right – that’s not a risk that should be taken. I’m not good, Rey. Nothing that would come along with me is good. You were right.”

“No, I was so very wrong. You  **are** wrong, Ben Solo,” Rey reached up to trace the outline of the scar on his face. “Throughout everything, you've always managed to surprise me. I don’t know why I ever thought finding out you were a father would be different.”

 

Rey took in a sharp breath as she leaned up and embraced his lips. They melted into each other as their souls reconnected. Long lost memories churned up emotions neither of them had felt in years.

Kylo moved one of his hands up the small of Rey’s back as he threaded her hair through his fingers with the other. He pulled her closer towards him and could feel her heartbeat against his chest – his heart beating in unison. Their chests lifted and fell with rapid breaths. They were one once more; their balance renewed.

 

“ _ **S**_ ** _tay_**. Please,” Rey breathed, gently pulling away.

Every heartstring that had been reattached was now being pulled apart – he wanted to stay. But the fact remained the same: he refused to expose them to more danger.

Kylo tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear as he tried to figure out the right words to say. “As much as I want to stay, it doesn’t change anything. I can’t. You need to get away from this planet in case the First Order comes looking, and I need to get away from both of you.”

Rey’s heart dropped. It was her fault that they’d ever parted to begin with and she couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to lose him again. They’d always proved to be stronger together.

“Then at least stay for tonight. We can tell Kai in the morning and figure out what to do after that.”

 

Kylo hesitantly nodded in agreement, nervousness suddenly cloaked him. _Tell Kai that I’m his father._

“I’ve missed so much. Where will I start with him?”

“From the beginning. We both will – together. As it should have been from the start,” Rey nestled her head into Kylo’s chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

 

 _This is home,_ she thought to herself.

Kylo heard the words as they flicked through her mind. His self doubt had begun to creep back; _What if I can’t be what they need? I never felt like I was enough for her_ – _she lost faith in me. How would I ever be enough for him?_

 

Rey's soft voice brought him back from the dark hole his mind had taken him to. “Will you stay with me?”

Kylo furrowed his brow in confusion. “I agreed to stay until morning.”

“I mean will you stay with me inside of the house? Lay with me like we used to?” Rey blushed as she finished the sentence, unable to hold eye contact.

 

While Kylo had wanted nothing more than to hold Rey in his arms through the night once again, his sense of reasoning got the better of him. Being teased with more of her touch would make leaving her even harder than he’d already anticipated it would be.

“I...I don’t think that’s a good idea. Not tonight,” Kylo released his arms from around her and squeezed Rey's’ hand apologetically. He delicately kissed her forehead before he turned away.

“Goodnight.”

There was a short pause of silence.

“My heart is yours, Ben Solo. It always has been. Goodnight,” Rey hastily walked towards her home as she wiped the tears that slid down her cheeks.


	15. Bait

Rey glanced behind her one last time in hopes Kylo had changed course and decided to follow her.

He hadn’t.

Though time had felt like it stood still while she was in Kylo’s presence, it had indeed passed – the sun had long been set and the dark of the night was still.

 

_I wonder how Kai is doing..._

Unsure of if Kai would want her company or not, Rey decided to check on him regardless. When she reached his room, she saw him sprawled across his bed – too tired to have been bothered with a change of clothes. It seemed as if he instantly fell asleep where he landed.

As she smiled down at her son and brushed a lock of his hair away from his face, her bliss was replaced with heartache as she thought of how much he’d been through.

Upon their return, Rey had been made aware of the fact that _something_ had happened; that Kai had lost control. But the details of the situation hadn’t been made clear to her. She wasn’t sure if she wanted know.

With a soft kiss to Kai’s forehead, Rey bent down to whisper, “I’m so sorry. This will all get fixed...I promise.”

 

Rey walked through the quiet of her home towards her bedroom. She sat on the edge of her bed as she clutched her chest – doing everything in her power to make the ache stop. There was nothing that she’d wanted more in that moment than to be wrapped in Kylo’s arms.

She lightly moved her fingertip over her lips as she outlined where Kylo’s lips had been a short while before. The butterflies in her stomach flew.

 

_How can I sleep knowing that Kylo – that Ben – is outside?_

Blankly staring out of the window in wonderment, Rey couldn’t bare the thought of Kylo being alone.

_He’s been alone for so long. I can’t let him be alone again._

There’d been a short moment of deliberation before Rey decided she was going back outside to Kylo Ren. Her mind wouldn’t allow her to do anything else.

She jumped to her feet, barely able to contain her excitement _–_ she felt as if she floated out of her room.

 

 _Okay, I’ll open the ships doors_ – _but what if I can’t figure out how to do that?_

_Alright, I’ll bang on it until he opens. Yeah, that’ll work._

_Wait, but what if he thinks he’s being attacked and goes on the defensive?_

_I don’t want him to think that…_

 

Much to her surprise, when she arrived outside she saw that Kylo’s ship had gone missing. It was no longer parked in front of her home – he vanished. She twisted her neck in confusion, searching for any trace of Kylo Ren.

Before she could think any further, a movement in her peripherals caught her attention. It'd been a ship as it landed, yards away.

_That’s strange, it’s silent? Maybe it’s...wait a second...oh no._

 

As soon as Rey could make out the shape of the ship, terror took over every inch of her body _–_ fear rippled down her spine.

She knew that it wasn’t Kylo’s command shuttle.

_Kylo told them where we were?!_

 

Rey chewed on her lip, unsure of what to think. Kylo had made it very clear that he wanted to protect her and Kai, but yet he’d gone missing with a First Order ship taking his place.

Lost for what to do, she looked back towards her home where her young boy was peacefully asleep.

_What happened when they were there..._

Her mind raced with worry at the thought of the First Order trying to bring Kai back with them.

_They want me, they can have me. They aren’t taking him._

 

With her sudden, but stern, decision she ran in the direction of the ship that. She wanted to get there as fast as possible to surrender herself to them – anything to keep them away from her home and from Kai.

The ships platform lowered before Rey had gotten there. She was stunned to see that she wouldn’t be greeted by stormtroopers, but instead a single man – one she didn't recognize.

She slowed her pace to a steady walk in anticipation of what would happen next.

 

“Rey, the girl from Jakku,” the man began. “This meeting has taken far too long to become a reality,” A malicious grin covered his face.

Though they had never met, Rey had a very strong idea of who he was.

“Hux, I presume?”

“ ** _Supreme Leader_ ** Hux,” he sneered as he took a step off of the platform. “I can’t say I’m surprised to find you alive.”

 

_Alive?_

“What is that supposed to mean?” She questioned bitterly.

Hux strided closer to Rey, arms neatly placed behind his back. “I simply mean that I knew that the _mighty_ Kylo Ren wouldn’t have the backbone to kill you himself once he found you. You were always his weakness. Such a fool.”

Rey could feel venom pulse through her veins as Hux spoke of Kylo. Her twisted facial expression had been enough of a reply.

 

Slowly pacing in a circle around Rey, Hux continued on. “The story that him and that child gave me was mediocre at best. I knew that there was more to it.”

“So what, you’re here to kill me?” Rey hastily shot out as she avoided his previous statement.

Hux had zeroed in on Rey, moving closer to her in one quick motion. He’d only been inches from her ear when he whispered two simple words.

“Not yet,”

 

Turning her head to stare cold and hard at Hux, it didn’t take long for her to realize what he was getting at. Rey involuntarily let her thoughts squeak out.

“You’re...you’re going to use me as bait?”

A maniacal laugh left Hux’s mouth as a response. “I have plans for you, my dear girl. You can either come with me on your own will or we can make this forceful. I don’t mind either way,” Hux faintly caressed Rey's arm as he raised his eyebrows towards her.

Within seconds, Rey jerked her arm away. “You really are a vile creature,” She paused for a moment before she continued on with a slight smirk. “ _Ben Solo_ was right.”

 

Rey pushed past Hux, knocking him on the shoulder, and plodded towards the ship in surrender. She knew she couldn’t put up a fight alone, especially with the First Order. All she’d been concerned with was keeping their attention off of Kai for as long as possible. She would do whatever was necessary.

“Very good,” Hux briskly scanned the area that surrounded them before he followed Rey back onto his spacecraft. “This is working out marvelously.”


	16. Losing Trust

Kai awoke to the sound of a ship as it landed outside. He hadn’t realized that he’d fallen asleep and was surprised to see bright sunshine beam through his window.

Right away he sat up in his bed, remembering how he’d left things with his mother the night before. He sank down with shame weighing heavy on his shoulders.

_She didn’t deserve that. I need to talk to her._

 

Pulled from his thoughts, Kai heard what sounded like someone bursting into his house. Flinging himself from bed, he darted towards the front door to investigate. He stopped in his tracks once he realized the cause of the noise. Looking around at pieces of the front door scattered about on the floor surrounding Kylo, Kai snickered – “Wow, you really aren’t good with doors.”

Though Kai had been laughing, his demeanor instantly changed once he laid eyes on Kylo’s face drenched in distraught.

“Rey’s gone,” Kylo forced out fretfully and out of breath.

Dizziness overtook Kai – the world around him began to spin as his legs went numb. He could feel his heart palpitate while he attempted to process the information. Trying to regain balance, Kai staggered closer to Kylo. “Gone?! What do you mean gone?”

Unable to hide the tremulous tone of his voice, Kylo clutched at his throat while he spoke. “The First Order. Hux. They were here.”

“Where were you?! Why didn’t you stop them? Where'd you go?!” Although Kai tried to seem forceful as he pushed Kylo Ren back, his voice was brittle and broken. “She was with you.”

 

The pain that could be felt from Kai had been overwhelming. Kylo could sense emotion as it pulsed through Kai’s mind. He couldn’t face him anymore – Kai was right and Kylo felt guilty.

The worries that Kylo had been so consumed with had already been realized, even after a short amount of time – he couldn’t protect them. His entire body tensed as he thought about the possibilities of what could be happening to Rey. Or even worse, what could have already been done to her. Kylo bit his lip until he tasted blood.

Tears accumulated in Kylo’s eyes as he stared at the ground, ashamed of himself. “I moved my ship off of the island last night incase the First Order looked for me. I was trying...” his voice broke off momentarily, unsure of if he could say the words. Kylo could feel his body trembling, begging to collapse. “I was trying to protect both of you and I failed. I’m sorry.”

 

Studying Kylo suspiciously, Kai rubbed his chin.

_This could be a trick...how can I believe him?_

“We’re going to her. **Now.** ”

The words came out of Kai’s mouth gruffly. He held back his own tears as he pushed himself to remain strong. All he wanted was to find his mother and get her to safety. He felt a sense of responsibility for this. After all, he left his mom alone with Kylo – someone who she’d said multiple times was a monster. Kai had no way of knowing what truly happened – if Kylo had betrayed them or not. But he knew that Kylo was his only way back to the First Order, and he intended to use him just for that.

 

Kai’s thoughts hadn’t been hard to read. Kylo heard where his mind was going to, but there hadn’t been time to redirect it. They needed to leave immediately if they stood a chance of finding Rey alive. It was unclear how long Rey had already been missing for.

Without a spoken word, Kylo turned around to return to his ship as Kai followed closely behind – skepticism towards Kylo growing with every step.

 

Once on board, Kai couldn't hold back his thoughts any longer. “How do you know it was them? Why should I believe it wasn’t you? This could've been your plan all along.”

Kylo stayed silent as he set the coordinates towards the Supremacy. He could understand how the situation looked. Kai was right, he had no reason to believe him.

Deciding that he wasn’t going to hold this truth back from Kai, he answered honestly. “They put a tracking device on my ship. Our first night on the Supremacy I left you to try and find it, but I couldn’t,” Kylo swallowed hard.

“I’m sure Hux figured out why I was here once Rey was seen. Hux wants to do what he can to get rid of me for good. He knows that this is what will do it. He wants me to find them. It’s a trap.”

Without thinking, Kai allowed himself to slip out, “Why would taking my mom hurt _you?”_

“That answer isn’t necessary right now. You’ll know in time,” Kylo left it at that, unsure of how to approach the subject without Rey there. He decided it would be in their best interest to change the subject. “As I said, this is going to be a trap. Hux knows that I’m coming, and they’ll probably assume you are as well.”

“Good,” Kai mumbled crossly.

 

The words drifted off as Kylo’s mind wandered towards the challenges that they would face.

_This is going to be dangerous. Kai could get hurt...but I can’t let him lose control. Rey could already be…_

“Don’t even think that. I’ll kill you myself,” Kai flatly said out loud. “I’ll do whatever needs to be done, with or without your approval. If something happened to her, there will be no survivors.” Kai tightly gripped the arm of Kylo's seat. "You know, my mom being captured is your fault. But trusting you...that was my mistake. It won't happen again."

As the words left his mouth, Kai stood up from the passenger seat he’d been seated in next to Kylo and walked towards the back of the ship. Kai was heartbroken and he was lost on how to handle it – afraid that he would explode at any moment. He sat down on the floor of the ship and crossed his legs, shutting his eyes to go off into a meditative state – the only defense he had.

 

Kylo felt that Kai had already been set in his decision that he’d be crossing over into dark territory – he could sense Kai’s resolve and acceptance.

All Kylo had wanted to do was remind Kai that he was meant for so much more than that; that he didn’t have to go that way. But he reflected back on a time where he felt that he had something to accomplish – killing Luke Skywalker – how he would have done anything in his power to achieve his goal.

As much as he wanted to reach out, Kylo knew that at that moment he wouldn’t be able to get through to Kai. Even if he tried, it was clear that Kai wouldn’t believe him.

 

_I’m no one to him._


	17. Setting the Trap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> There is talk of torture in this chapter. It IS hinted at.

*****

Rey’s vision was blurred as she slowly regained consciousness.

_Where...am I?_

 

“Nice of you to join us.”

The voice of her foe brought Rey back to her senses. “What have you done to me? Where am I?”

She had awoken to find herself strapped down to a table, staring straight up at the ceiling. Her wrists and ankles burned as she tried to wiggle and shift herself free from the harnesses that dug deep into her flesh. She quickly came to the conclusion that her struggle was futile – she was completely restrained.

The last thing that Rey could remember was stepping onto Hux’s ship, willingly. She had no recollection of anything after that.

 

“A sedative…as a precaution,” Hux said through a thin smile. “I wasn’t sure what you were capable of.”

“And these restraints? Are they precautionary too?”

Chuckling, Hux walked around to the left side of the table that Rey was stretched out on. He leaned over her, looking down at her like she was nothing but a puny insect.

“Absolutely.”

 

Rey tried to move her head to take in her surroundings, but she was unable to – even her head had been tightly secured onto the table. She could feel as her frustration manifested itself through tears that trickled down her cheeks.

“Now then, shall we get down to it?” Hux stood up, eyes still glued to Rey. “Who is the boy? He has peaked my interest.”

Rey's mind began to race. _Interest?_

 

She felt the hairs on her arms raise. “Boy? What boy?”

“Don’t play games with me. It’s too late. **Who is the boy**?”

“Even if I _had_ an answer for you, why do you think I would choose to tell you?” Rey smirked at her words.

_I won’t tell him anything. There’s nothing he can do to me that I can’t handle._

 

“I thought you may say that. I am very capable, Rey from Jakku. More so than you know.”

At that point, Rey couldn’t help but to let out a loud laugh. “Who do you think you are? _Kylo Ren?_ There’s nothing you can do to me.”

Hux began to cackle. “Is that the impression that you’re under? That I’ll play nice with you like that fool?”

Rey narrowed her eyes as she stared up towards Hux without a vocal response.

 

“I have the upper hand here. It’s very clear to me that you’re no longer capable of performing any of your ridiculous Jedi tricks.”

“Why do you believe that?” Rey hastily asked.

“Because, my dear girl…” Hux laid his hand on Rey's forehead and began to stroke her hair back. “If you did, these restraints would’ve already been off of you. You would’ve made it so.”

 

Rey’s expression hardened.

_He knows I can’t do anything._

 

“You see, I’ve already won this battle with you. I’m in control of you. So I’ll say, once again, you can cooperate or I **will** retrieve my answers however needed. You won’t be fond of the second way.”

“Torture? Your plan is to torture me?”

Hux curled his lip into a maniacal smile. That was all the answer Rey needed.

 

All Rey had wanted to do was scream. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to force out some kind of idea of how to get herself out of this – she drew nothing but blanks. Rey knew that there wasn’t anything she could do to protect herself, but protecting Kai was more important than anything.

She chewed on her bottom lip in a refusal to talk. Her face went blank in preparation to enter a meditative state – that was the only thing she could do to protect herself from whatever Hux had planned for her.

 

_Kylo, if you can hear me...I need you. Now more than ever._

 

“Have it your way then,” With a sigh, Hux raised his hand – motioning for a trooper in black armor to approach him. “‘I’ll ask the questions, and you do what is needed to get the answers out of this woman. Is that clear?”

Hux backed away towards a chair that was placed near a wall of the cell they were in. As he sat down, he crossed his legs – folding his hands neatly in his lap. His jaw tightened with anticipation.

“Who is the boy, Rey? And how is Kylo involved in this?”

*****


	18. Intentions

Kylo lightly laid his hand on Kai’s shoulder, doing his best to not startle him out of his meditative state.

 

As Kai opened his eyes, he sharply pulled his shoulder away. His brows drew together, turning his face into a scowl.

“Don’t touch me,” He stood up to look through the front windows on the ship. “Are we there?”

“Soon,” Kylo dimly responded, searching for any way to reach out to Kai one last time.

 

Doing his best to not take offense to Kai’s coldness, Kylo watched Kai walk away from him – his eyes welling up.

_Is this what I did? Is this how I acted towards my mother and father?_

Kylo tried not to dwell on thoughts of his parents – they’d both been dead for years. The regret of his final relationship with them weighed heavier than most of the mistakes Kylo had made throughout his life. Self reflection had always made it difficult for him to move forward.

But the way that Kai acted helped him to understand why his parent’s lost hope for him, even though all he’d wanted was for them to try more.

It wasn’t hard to feel, or to see, the darkness within Kai. Kylo was familiar with this darkness, though. It didn’t scare him the same way it had once scared his own parents.

 

While he refused to give up hope that Kai would stay on the right path, Kylo also reminded himself that there was a high possibility Kai had already been consumed by his anger – and if he wasn’t yet, he would be if something truly did happen to Rey.

_________________________________

Blinded by outrage since his mother's disappearance, Kai had been unable to focus on anything else for most of their trip. He didn't see what was so plainly laid out in front of him: the walls that Kylo had lowered in hopes that Kai would be able to feel his pure intentions.

 

Momentarily letting his guard slip, Kai caught a whisper of a thought from Kylo. It was filled with panic and worry. Though Kylo stood there stiff as a board, his mind raced with anxiety. Kai could see the sadness that clouded Kylo’s features and it made him suddenly self aware of his rage. A muscle in his jaw twitched as he tried to calm himself down.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Kylo noticed that Kai’s gaze was set on him. There had been a slight shift in the atmosphere between them. The edge of his mouth lifted into a half-smile.

_He’s still in there. He’s not lost yet._

 

As the ship approached the Supremacy, Kai detected an alert that came across the screen on the dashboard. Their arrival had been accepted and the shields were lowered.

_They really did know we were coming. Is this proof that Kylo was telling the truth...or that Kylo was part of this plan?_

 

Taking a moment to think before the ship landed, Kylo decided to use the last shard of his remaining hope. He walked to the side of a ship towards the bunk that he slept on and pulled a small wooden box out from behind it, handing it to Kai.

"What is this?” Kai tilted his head in curiosity as he grabbed the box.

 

“It belonged to my grandfather and was passed down to his son – my uncle. It called to your mother...” Kylo’s face hardened as the past flashed through his mind. “It was broken in my attempt to get it. Your mother and I fixed it, together. Now, it’s here...for you. Open it.”

Where Kai went from there, Kylo had no control over. The choice was Kai’s to make – his and his alone.

 

Kai opened the box to find out what it was that had been gifted to him, and his jaw dropped at what he discovered.

_A lightsaber._

 

Before Kai was able to process or question what had just taken place, the ship landed inside of the hangar. Kai looked down at the object that he held in his palm in contemplation.

“I need to know. How do you know my mom? You have to tell me what’s going on if you want me to trust you...” Unable to move his stare towards Kylo, Kai scrunched his eyes closed – the statement pained him greatly.

In his mind, this was Kylo’s last chance to come clean and give him the information that he so desperately needed.

 

Instantly, Kylo could feel his neck stiffen as he paused his breathing.  
_I can’t tell him...not now. Not without Rey. I don't know how._

“Kai...I can’t. We can’t talk about this right now. The time isn’t right.”

 

Kai’s expression dulled as his lower lip trembled. “I want to believe in you, but I can’t. You wanted to leave me. There’s so much you won’t tell me...I don’t know who you are, Kylo Ren.”

 

Kylo felt his heart slide down into his stomach – his attempt had been pointless. Kai’s words broke him to his core. The tension that had grown between them made Kylo feel like he’d had no choice but to resort back to the only thing he knew; the only thing that he had left – the mask of Kylo Ren.

_That’s it. I’ve lost everything._

Rey had been lost to the First Order, and he’d lost Kai’s trust. Both of them lost hope in him, just as everyone always had.

No matter how hard he tried to show Ben Solo, no one would ever believe that was the true person he was.

 

Clenching his jaw, Kylo could only fit one word through his teeth. "Understood."

 

"This'll help in getting my mom back, so at least you could do  _that_ for me," Kai rolled his eyes in annoyance. Their previous conversation had been completely lost in translation – he'd almost felt betrayed by Kylo's unwillingness to talk to him.

 

Pain mixed with anger built up in Kylo’s throat like acid. As he swallowed his despair, he replaced it with fury out of habit. Impulses had always ruled over Kylo.

“I’m not going to attempt stop whatever you’re planning to do. However, I will make sure that your actions don’t put Rey in anymore danger than she’s already in.”

 

The comment caught Kai’s attention, causing him to shoot a dirty look towards Kylo – anger dripped from his eyes. “My plan is to get my mom back by any means necessary. You think that I’d put my own mother in danger?”

 

Kylo turned towards the platform, away from Kai, in a refusal to let his heartache be seen. In preparation for battle, he grabbed his mask from the stand it had been placed on. 

“Not intentionally. But your anger is going to cause you to be reckless. I know what you’re capable of.”

 

As he stared on in disbelief of Kylo’s remark, Kai could feel as his heart tried to burst through his ribcage – barely able to contain his temper.

 

Even without the help of distortion from his mask, Kylo's voice became slightly unnerving. “I’ll stop anyone who jeopardizes her safety. Including you.”

 

The threat hung in the air, low and heavy, while both of them did their best to stay in control of their quick tempers. 

 

Thinking back on how close him and Kylo had become, Kai’s chest burned at where they stood now – seemingly on opposite sides, but somehow after the same goal.

He didn’t know what to believe anymore. His brain and his heart were battling amongst themselves; Kai’s soul caught in between.

Words failed to come out as Kai's mouth fell open to speak.

_How am I supposed to fix this..._

Before he was able to articulate a comprehensible sentence, Kylo spoke.

 

“Once the door opens, do what you will. There will be guards and stormtroopers. The girl will be found,” Kylo grabbed hold of his lightsaber from his belt and smashed the switch that would drop the platform.

 

Their fate remained undecided.

 

Just as Kylo began to lower his mask over his head, his entire being froze in place.

A faint plea rang through his mind.

_Kylo...I need you._


	19. Caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> Aftermath of torture is briefly described in this chapter.

“There’s no one here.”

Almost disappointed, Kai put his hands on his hips. He sauntered down the ramp and onto the hangar floor. “There were more troopers here last time. What’s going on?”

Unbeknownst to Kai, Kylo had muted everything that surrounded him – Kai’s words had fallen on deaf ears. All of Kylo's focus had been aimed towards the words he’d received from Rey, and how her voice was quickly fading away.

 

Kylo’s jaw had went slack, partially hanging open, rendering him unable to respond. The mask and lightsaber he’d been holding onto slipped from his hands with a loud thud that echoed.

The noise startled Kai, causing him to flinch. He whirled around towards Kylo, ready to scold him for the scare –  but once he steadied his gaze on Kylo’s flushed face, he knew that something wasn’t right.

“Kylo? What is it? What’s wrong?”

 

Kylo had broken out in cold sweat, his eyes glazing over with shock. “She’s alive. Rey’s alive.”

“How do you know? You need to tell me right now!” Kai ran up to Kylo, snatching the neck of Kylo's shirt with tight fists.

Kylo flung the boy off of him immediately. “There’s no time! We have to get to her now!”

 

Unsure of if Kai followed him once he began to run, Kylo didn’t look back to check – all he’d cared about was finding Rey. She hadn’t communicated with him through the Force in over 15 years; this was a sign to him that wherever she was, she was in grave danger.

 

Desperate for any hint of life, Kylo hastily reached out for contact.

_Rey, where are you? Can you hear me? Answer me!_

He gritted his teeth as he realized that he couldn’t retrieve a response from her.

_No. This isn’t it. It can’t be._

 

A scream reverberated off the walls of the hallway he’d been running through. Kylo stopped dead in his tracks. “She’s close! That was her!”

“Which way?!” Though heavily out of breath, Kai had managed to catch up to Kylo. They swung their heads back and forth in an attempt to figure out where the screech had originated from.

 

Kylo’s forehead creased as he noticed a small pack of stormtroopers turn down the corridor they were in; running directly towards them with guns drawn.

_Dammit! They’ve found us!_

“Kai, behind you!”

 

Without hesitation, Kai turned on the lightsaber he held tightly in his hands. He’d never held one, let alone used one, yet his senses guided him on what to do. With tremendous force, and an insurmountable amount of grace, he swung the saber – catching two troopers in its path.

“Find my mom, Kylo. Go!”

 

While Kai held the troopers off, Kylo had given up on trying to communicate with Rey through his mind.

“Rey!?” he screamed at the top of his lungs as he ran through twisting hallways, pleading for a response. “Rey!? Tell me where you are!”

He heard a small yelp, barely able to make it out of the room it’d come from. The call for help had been close enough to find its way to Kylo’s ears, though.

 

Kylo burst through the few doors that lined the hallway, searching for any sign of Rey. When he finally reached the last door, he leaned up against the door way – trying to catch his breath. Inhaling deeply, Kylo pushed the hair back from his face as he turned the corner into the open door. He pressed his lips together as he surveyed what was in front of him.

There she’d been; locked to a metal table – bloodied and bruised; her clothes had been ripped and torn revealing the gashes underneath. Kylo fell to his knees at Rey's side, unable to fight back tears.

“What have they done to you?”

 

Rey began to cough, gurgling out words. Kylo stood up and leaned over her, putting his ear to hear mouth in an attempt to decipher what she’d been trying so hard to tell him.

“It’s...a...trap,”

Kylo gently placed his forehead on hers, staring into her eyes. “I don’t care, Rey. I’m getting you out of here, even if it’s the last thing I do. I’m going to save you. I’m...I'm so sorry.”

As Kylo gently ran his fingers along Rey's face, she went unconscious. He figured putting her to sleep would give her a break from the pain.

 

Before Kylo was able to free Rey, footsteps could be heard closing in on them. In a seamless motion, Kylo grabbed his lightsaber as he turned around  – anything to protect Rey.

Kai slowly peeked his head around the doorframe. “Mom…?”

Lowering his saber, Kylo hesitantly moved to the side; unsure of if Kai would be able to handle the scene in front of him.

 

Once Kai laid eyes on his battered mother, he covered his mouth in a loss for words. He jolted over to her, shoving Kylo Ren out of the way. He began to tug at the restraints that held Rey down while he whispered to her.

"I'll get you out, I'll save you. Don't worry mom, I'm here now."

 

Unable to loosen the straps, Kai had started to become frustrated with himself. Being able to see as Kai’s tears welled up, Kylo grabbed his arm in comfort. “Let me take care of this.”

At that moment, Kai’s lip drew back in a snarl. “This is all your fault! You did this!”

“Then let me make it right.”

Kai seams began to come unglued; control slipping from his fingertips. “Don’t come close to her! Don’t touch her or I’ll kill you!”

“We don’t have time for this!” Kylo yelled as he hit a button hidden on a wall, instantly loosening the restraints.

 

As Kylo walked back towards Rey, Kai jumped in front of him – slamming his foot down in a final warning. “I said don’t touch her!”

Kai didn’t have time to react further before Kylo forced him out of the way, sending him flying into the back wall.

“And I said that I would stop anyone that jeopardizes her safety.”

 

Gently lifting Rey’s unconscious body, Kylo began to carry her out into the hall. He stopped in the doorway as he peered down at Kai. “Get up. We’re leaving.”

Embarrassed at how easily Kylo overtook him, Kai rubbed the sore spot on his head from where it had met the wall. He staggered to his feet in silence, following Kylo out into the hall.

 

As Kai followed closely behind Kylo, he walked directly into Kylo’s outstretched hand – preventing him from moving forward. With a shallow breath, Kylo murmured two words.

“Don’t move.”

 

“Did you honestly believe it would be that simple?”

 

Reflexively, all of Kai’s senses tingled as his entire body stiffened.

_Hux._


	20. At What Cost?

For a moment, Kylo held an unwavering stare with Hux; their eyes were locked and both refused to break contact. They stood feet away from each other; the hostility strung between them had been easily felt – proof they could attack at any given moment.

With apprehension and through clenched teeth, Kylo declared, “I know what you’re after. Take me and let them leave.”

 

Kai bit his lower lip as he sent an unspoken message to Kylo.

_What’s your plan? Where are you going with this?_

“The plan is to keep you and Rey safe. Whatever that takes,” Kylo spoke out loud with finality. “Because keeping you both safe is all that’s important.”

 

Kylo gently began to hand Rey’s limp body over to Kai.

Panicking, Kai did his best to hold on to his mother and reach for Kylo at the same time.

_What about you? How do you get out of this, Kylo?_

 

Though Hux could only hear bits and pieces of the duo’s conversation, he was clever enough to put the context together.

“How sweet. What an impressive show,” Hux sarcastically clapped his hands together.

 With a side smile and a slight nod to Kai, Kylo raised his hand to gain control of Hux. Instantly, Hux shot his finger up to halt him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ren.”

 

Stormtroopers could be heard running up the surrounding halls. This was the trap that Kylo had anticipated. Rey had been the bait to lead them towards the corner they’d be trapped in, and they fell directly into it.

Kylo knew that if he attempted to fight, there was a high risk of further injury to Rey; Hux was out to destroy him and would do whatever he could to achieve that. There was no doubt in Kylo’s mind that included killing Rey.

_So this is it then? Making me choose between fighting him or saving Kai and Rey._

 

“I knew this would be a trap,” Kylo said.

“And I knew that you’d come, regardless,” Hux’s grin had been stretched ear to ear. “Anything to save the woman you love, right?”

 

Kai looked over to Kylo with a tilted head.

“What...I don’t understand,” Kai stuttered. “Kylo, what’s going on? What does he mean?”

Staring down at his son, Kylo laid the palm of his hand on the top of Kai’s head and ruffled his hair. Just as Kylo parted his lips to explain, Hux kneeled down with an outstretched hand.

“I have the information you want. All you have to do is follow me.”

 

Kai twisted his head towards Hux with a lifted eyebrow. “Why should I believe you about anything?”

“I can help you figure out who you are. I can help you reach your full potential,” Hux said calmly, continuing to reach towards Kai. “You’ve been kept in secret your whole life. No more.”

“Who...I am?” Scrunching his eyes closed, Kai balled his fists at his sides as he took Hux’s offer into consideration.

The offer resonated with Kai. That’s all he’d wanted: to find out who he really was; where he belonged. Kai was strong, but his young mind had still been naive. He was a boy looking for a place to fit in, willing to do just about anything to find his answers.

 

As his eyes shot between Hux and Kai, Kylo realized how tempted Kai would be to fall towards Hux’s words – they were exactly what he wanted to hear.

“You can’t trust him, Kai.” Kylo sternly grabbed Kai’s shoulder without taking his eyes off of Hux. “Don’t do this. Don’t listen to him. I know it’s tempting but you don’t know what he’s capable of,” Kylo took a deep breath in as visions of Hux manipulating Kai entered his mind. “He’s going to use you and throw you away when you’re no longer an asset.”

 

Kai eyes darted back towards Kylo as turmoil grew within his body –  he was being pulled in two opposite directions.

_This is the point Kylo has been trying to teach me...this is where I make my choice._

 

Unbothered by Kylo’s remark, Hux raised to his feet as he fixed the cuffs of his sleeves. “Kai, I’ll ask you the same question again. Do you know who Kylo Ren is?”

 

Kylo could feel as panic pulsed through his body.

_Hux pulled the truth out of Rey. He knows._

 

Kai shifted out of Kylo’s grasp as he lowered Rey to the ground. He inched towards Hux, curiosity painted all over his face.

“No...I don’t,”

As his eyes sparkled, Hux’s mouth twitched – quickly turning into a smirk. His plan had worked.

“His real name is Ben Solo. He’s your father. He and your mother have kept this from you in fear that you’d turn out like him – weak, foolish and a slave to uncontrollable emotions; a prisoner to the dark side. But, you see, I can help you blossom your magnificent abilities instead of hiding them away out of fear. Stand with me.”

 

Expecting Kai to lash out, Kylo prepared himself. He buried his face into his hands in disbelief.

_It shouldn’t have came out this way. I failed him. It’s my fault._

 

All that followed was an eerie silence, though. Kai’s breathing remained calm, his voice stayed steady.

“What will happen to my mother?”

Hux instinctively walked towards Kai, while Kai took the necessary steps to meet him in the middle.

Placing a hand on Kai’s chin to force his head up towards him, Hux responded. “I’ll spare her in exchange for your cooperation. She’ll be kept here. Safe.”

 

“Kai, please. Don’t become his tool...” Kylo had fallen to his hands and knees, any hope he’d had was drained. He could feel himself losing Kai.

“And Kylo?” Kai nodded his head back towards the broken man on the floor behind him.

“Ahh, yes. Kylo Ren,” Hux raised his gaze. “How the mighty Kylo Ren has fallen. Pathetic.” He sauntered over to Kylo and then proceeded to swiftly kick him in the stomach; he had Kylo exactly where he wanted him.

 

Hunched over and gasping for air, Kylo’s first instinct was to kill Hux on the spot – but keeping Rey and Kai safe outweighed his urge to destroy. Reasoning had become a stronger instinct than destruction.

Kai’s jaw dropped as he watched Kylo hold his stomach tightly. He’d never seen him this vulnerable before and it was hard for him to comprehend.

 

Pleased with himself, Hux nonchalantly turned back towards Kai with a shrug. “He’ll be taken into custody to stand trial for treason and harboring a fugitive. He directly defied my orders and will be punished for it. Execution is likely in his future.”

 

Though his outer exterior was calm, Kai’s insides were on fire. Anger? Sadness? Relief? His emotions were in a vortex and he’d had no idea what they’d end on.

“And if I choose not to follow you?”

Hux gave a mischievous smile as he folded his hands behind his back. “Then your mother will die, and Kylo will follow closely behind either way. I’ll make you watch as I personally kill them both,” Waiting a moment before he continued, Hux took in the look of pure horror that clouded Kai's face. "You'll stand by me through force instead of choice."

 

 

Wincing as he lowered his head towards the ground, Kai closed his eyes in defeat.

Unable to let Kai make a decision of that magnitude, Kylo acted fast in one last attempt at saving his son and Rey.

“Take me,” Kylo fought out through tears. “Don’t hurt them, just take me.”

 

Hux signaled to the stormtroopers to detain Kylo. Without putting up a fight, Kylo stood to his feet and held eye contact with Kai in hopes that he would hear him.

_I’m sorry._


	21. Let Down

Many days passed while Rey was kept under sedation to accelerate her healing rate. Kai visited his mother daily, hoping that her eyes would open while he sat next to her. Mixed feelings whirled through Kai – emotions yanked in every direction.

 

He knew the truth: Kylo Ren was his father. He’d been alive this whole time while his mother kept him locked up in a secret. Kai had come to find out that most of Rey’s life had been covered up with half truths and complete lies. He’d lost confidence in Rey with every detail Hux revealed.

Hux was very willing to hand over the entirety of the information he had. Kai knew that this wasn’t out of kindness, but a tactic interwoven into a strategic plan that Hux had to draw him closer in. And even though Kai was aware that Hux was manipulating him, he couldn’t help but fall into it. After all, Hux had been more honest than both his mother and Kylo ever were.

 

Dragging his chair closer to Rey’s side, Kai leaned over and rested his elbows on the edge of the bed.

“Wake up, mom. Come on.”

As the words floated from his mouth down to his mother, fear spiked through his chest.

_What will I say? Where do I even start with this?_

 

With a sigh, Kai leaned back in his seat as he closed his eyes. His mind drifted off to memories of his childhood; hand in hand with his mother as they walked through woods while she told him stories. Everything had seemed so calm and surreal while he grew up. Kai had never imagined that he would be part of a scenario like this.

_My father is Kylo Ren_ . The blood that ran through him was mixed with that of a monster; a murderer – someone who killed without question. Hux had informed Kai of every heinous act that Kylo had committed; every command he followed for the Supreme Leader, Snoke. _But why...how would my mother end up with someone_ – _something like that?_

 

Kai could feel himself drifting off, but he didn’t stop himself. The exhaustion had finally caught up to him, and this would be a welcome break from his current reality. The days began to bleed together – Hux had taken him under his wing offering nonstop guidance and training. The darkness inside him was easily retrievable, much to Hux’s delight. It had been bubbling under the surface, begging to be released for quite some time. Darkness had come so natural to Kai.

“ _Kai?..._ ”

_Is this a dream? Has it all been a dream?_ Upon hearing his name called out by his mother's recognizable voice, Kai thought he'd drifted off to a dream world. One that he would awaken from in his bed from the breeze lightly blowing through his window – where Kylo Ren wasn’t part of his situation and the calm from his old life would welcome him.

 

“Kai, wake up.”

Through half opened eyelids and blurry vision, Kai could make out a figure sitting straight up in front of him. As his vision cleared and he was able to make out his surroundings, he saw his mother – a half smile and tired eyes drawn onto her face.

“Mom? You’re awake.”

Rey nodded her head solemnly as she pulled the covers off of her to stand.

“No, stay. Take it easy. You just woke up,” Kai urged, lightly lowering his mother back into the bed.

 

Flashbacks of Rey’s last “meeting” with Hux suddenly tore through her – she could physically feel as replays of the torture plagued her mind. All of the information he forced her to divulge grasped tightly at her throat.

_The trap._

She already knew how everything played out.

Without hesitation, Rey apologized. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you, Kai. This whole thing is my fault,” A tear slid down Rey’s cheek. “It’s all my fault.”

 

Not knowing what to say, Kai remained silent. He flinched as he saw the visions of his mother's torment by Hux's hand flash through Rey's mind. Though he’d been relieved his mother had woken up from what she'd endured, he was still unsure if he could forgive the web of lies she’d tangled all around him – it all happened so quickly and Kai still wasn’t acclimated. It was hard for him to even look Rey in the face. His emotions were jumbled; his spirit was broken.

 

Rey was able to see the disappointment and uncertainty that was painted in Kai’s eyes.

“I should have told you from the beginning who you were. I should have told you about Kylo,” Rey quickly stopped to correct herself – “I should have told you about Ben.”

“Ben?” Repeating the name in question was all Kai could do. “Who’s Ben?”

“Ben Solo. He’s your father.”

Scrunching his eyes in confusion, Kai argued back, “Kylo Ren is my father.”

 

Rey leaned over to touch her sons face, but before she could reach him he pulled away quickly. His reaction stung, but she continued on anyways.

“His real name is Ben Solo. Kylo Ren is what he’s done, Ben Solo is who he is.”

 

Disregarding his mother’s reveal, Kai straightened up as his face bloomed into a shade of red. He'd been unable to hold his hurt in any longer.

“Why would you lie to me? After all of these years...the endless amount of questions I’ve asked. All I wanted was the truth, and you lied to me.”

“I thought I was doing what was best, I’m sorry...” Rey didn’t have the opportunity to move forward with her explanation as Kai cut her off.

“I don’t care what your excuse is and apologies aren’t always enough. You were the only person I ever had and I thought I could trust you.”

 

At that moment, then tension between them was broken by a voice that boomed over an intercom in the room.

“Kai, report to my office at once. We have much to discuss about your upcoming lesson.”

Without an ounce of hesitation, Kai responded. “Yes, Supreme Leader Hux.”

A loud beep followed as the transmission ended.

 

Rey became emotional witnessing her son blindly obey Hux. This was the first time she'd taken in more of her son’s appearance since regaining consciousness; he’d been dressed in all black – clothes mimicking that of what First Order officers wear. Somehow he seemed older, more stoic – the little bit of childlike nature he had was gone. He’d started to become less recognizable to her, only barely resembling her son she’d last seen.

 

“You don’t have to follow his orders, Kai. What are you thinking?!”

Kai’s mouth twitched as his eyes narrowed. “I don’t have a choice.”

“What do you mean you don’t have a choice? I’m here. Ben is here.” Instantly, Rey’s brows snapped together as her mind floated to Kylo’s well being.

_Wait, is Ben here? Is he okay?_

 

“That’s what you’re worried about? If that liar is okay?” Kai scoffed, biting the inside of his cheek.

“He didn’t know he was your father – not until you both returned to me. That night was the first he’d heard about it. I left him 15 years ago, as soon as I found out about you. He was just as clueless as you were.”

Rey slightly raised her voice in Kylo’s defense. She had lied to Kai, that was a fact – but Kylo hadn’t, and she wasn’t going to let Kai believe that he was the wrongdoer in this.

 

Kai momentarily held his mothers stare before he turned away and stepped closer to the door. His eyes gazed blankly ahead while the truth of the situation set in. As the door lifted, he paused in the doorway – back still turned to Rey.

“Well then, I guess there’s two people you’ve let down who thought they could trust you, huh?”


	22. Connection

The air was damp, heavy, and all consuming. Kylo sat in a corner, head between his legs, replaying the events that had occurred. He’d been stuck in a cramped, dark jail cell for days, maybe weeks – he’d lost track of time as he waited to meet his end. Unsure of the exact reason that Hux had continued to keep him alive, Kylo assumed this was some form of torture; drawn out long enough for Hux to enjoy.

 

“Your meal.”

A tray was slid through a small opening in the door without care, causing the small portion of food to spill onto the floor. The trooper who kept watch outside of Kylo’s cell chuckled, “Enjoy your ration, prisoner.”

 

_I could kill him in an instant._

Kylo’s mind always found a way back to the same thought: breaking out of his cell and destroying anything in his way on his escape to freedom. His rationale brought him back, though. He knew those actions would ruin everything; it would get Rey killed(if she hadn’t been already), and Kai would be pushed into a worse position than he already was.

He ultimately decided that he’d await his execution without causing anymore issues for anyone.

_I’ve already ruined enough. This is best for everyone._

 

With a sigh, Kylo rubbed his eyes vigorously – hoping that maybe he would wake up from this horrible dream.  As his eyes began to refocus, a low buzzing formed deep within his ears. The vibrations made the tiny hairs all over his body raise.  _Someone’s here._

Instantly, he shot his head side to side – searching for the cause of his awakened senses.

 

_Ben?_

The echoing voice was unmistakable. _Rey._ Jumping to his feet, Kylo questioned if he was losing his mind. Could it be true that she’d reached out to him?

_Ben, can you hear me?_

 

Life flickered back into Kylo’s eyes. “Rey?!” Surprise and excitement flowed through him, causing him to screech out impulsively.

 

“Silence, scum!” The guard pounded on the metal door in annoyance.

Worried that the connection with Rey would be lost, Kylo had to think fast. He sprinted towards the door and peered through the small window. With a raised hand, he hissed out a command towards the trooper who stood guard. _“You will leave this room!”_

Immediately, the soldiers body straightened and headed out of the cell block without question. Knowing that his time was limited before the watchman would make his return, Kylo rushed to call back to Rey.

“I’m here. I can hear you.”

 

Silence followed. It seemed the connection had been lost. Smacking his forehead in anger, Kylo couldn’t tell if he’d started to descend into madness.

_Hearing voices? Am I going crazy?_

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he’d rather go crazy with visions of Rey than for his life to end in solitude.

_At least it would feel like she was with me again._

 

As Kylo began to sulk back into his darkness, the vibrations returned. It felt as if the energy around him was trying to gather itself, sharply pricking at his skin.

 

_I’m here, but it's difficult to hold this connection. I can’t see you, and I can barely hear you._

Rey's words sounded broken up and distant, but Kylo knew that they were real. All he’d wanted to do was tell Rey how hearing her voice made his heart feel like it was beating again, but he could only manage to muster out a simple response.

“I can’t see you either.”

 

A short moment passed before Rey could force through her reply.

_It’s so good to hear your voice. I was worried that you were…_

Rey’s voice had faded out, but Kylo knew where her statement was headed.

“I was worried that you’d reached the same fate, as well.”

_Where are you?_

“In a cell. I’m not sure where, but I don’t have much time before the guard returns.”

 

Suddenly aware of the fact that this could be the last time he spoke to Rey, Kylo squeezed his eyes shut tight in preparation for his final goodbye.

“Rey, I…” Words refused to come out, getting caught in the middle of his throat. A muscle in Kylo's jaw twitched as his lower lip trembled. “I’m sorry for finding you and causing all of this. I’m sorry for proving that your worst fears about me were correct.”

Blowing out his cheeks, Kylo grabbed chunks of his hair in his palms; his eyes glossed over. The silence that followed his apology was deafening; he could feel the weight of his loss crushing down on his chest.

 

_I’m going to save you, Ben. Please hang on._

 

As the proclamation ended, Kylo could feel the vibrations surrounding him lighten – the warm energy that had only moments ago engulfed him had vanished.

Panic raced through his veins as her last words set in.

_Save me? Why? No, she can’t do this. It’s not worth the risk._

 

Unsure of how Rey had originally contacted him, Kylo was unable to rekindle the connection; he wanted to beg her not to go through with this. But with no way of reaching back out to her, the plea would go unheard.

 

Kylo’s spirits lowered as Rey’s voice slowly became a memory – she was gone. With his back pressed against the wall, he slid down to the floor; his eyes wide with anxiety. He was alone with the thoughts of how Rey could get killed with her ridiculous plan of trying to save him.

The hatred that Kylo already felt for himself was overwhelming, but nothing would compare to the feeling of knowing that Rey died trying to rescue him. He cringed at the awful scenarios that ran through his mind.

_She can't do this alone._

 

Kylo lifted his chin in acknowledgment of an internal decision – a plan of his own began to form.

"That's it. I won't let her die for me."


	23. Where does your loyalty lie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost over! Only a few chapters left.

As Kai walked through the door, Hux greeted him with a slight nod.

“I appreciate your promptness even though your mother just regained consciousness.”

Kai scratched at his head with confusion. “How did you know that she woke up?”

Plucking at the cuff of his sleeve, Hux responded with a smirk. “I know everything that happens on this ship. Remember that.”

 

Trying not to look deeper into the statement than needed, Kai dismissed it. There were other things he felt that needed to be discussed. Hux had made it seem like whatever the lesson was, it was an urgent one.

 

-

During the time that Rey was unconscious, and Kylo had been locked away, Hux had taken it upon himself to begin teaching sessions with Kai. He’d started with the history of the First Order, and then moved onto the truth of Kylo Ren’s destruction. Kai was informed of Rey and her involvement with the Resistance; he realized that he hadn’t ever really known who his mother truly was. Everything that Kai had wanted to know about the Jedi and Sith came to the light, and he learned that they were anything but the simple stories that his mother made them out to be.

Hux had been successful in exploiting and harnessing Kai’s darkness. He gained Kai’s trust, for the most part, by helping him assimilate ways to embrace his darkness as part of who he was rather than something he should fear. Kai was no longer afraid of the great power that rested inside of him. And though Kai was aware that Hux was manipulating him, he couldn’t help but to take comfort in the fact that Hux had helped him to become comfortable with himself – the feeling of peace was all Kai had ever wanted.

-

 

“So, what’s the lesson today?”

“A very important one,” Hux said as he wrapped his arm around Kai’s shoulder. “Do you trust me, Kai?”

Gritting his teeth, Kai took a second to answer. “In theory. But then again, I may be an idiot to trust the Supreme leader of the First Order. ”

“There’s that wit that was so wonderfully passed down from your father.” Sarcasm drenched every word that Hux spoke.

 

Deciding to approach the subject from a different angle, Hux steered down another path. “Do you trust your mother?”

Kai’s face reddened at the thought of his mother. The betrayal he felt from her cut deep into his soul; the searing pain from the deception still lingered. Her secrets had destroyed their relationship – Kai believed his life had been a lie and it was Rey’s fault.

_I used to._

 

Noticing that Kai had lowered his head instead of responding with a verbal answer, Hux moved forward with his lecture. “What would you say if I told you that as soon as you left your mother earlier, her first instinct would be to find a way to contact Kylo?”

Holding his gaze towards the ground, Kai lifted his shoulder in a half shrug.

“And how would you feel if you found out that she decided to save Kylo Ren instead of attempting to save you, her son, first?”

Kai tightened his hands into fists. “I would feel betrayed. Again.”

“This is the point I’ve been trying to show you. You're not the same young and naïve child you were when you first arrived here. You've acquired more wisdom," Hux grabbed Kai by his shoulders and turned him so they faced each other. Stretching his neck to close the distance between them, Hux continued. “You cannot trust her. She has withheld so much from you.”

 

As much as he didn’t want to accept it, Kai believed that Hux was right. Hux was selfish and only out for personal gain, but he’d shared more information with Kai than anyone ever had. Kai had an unspoken allegiance to Hux out of sheer gratitude.

 

Aware of the despair he was causing Kai, Hux relentlessly persisted.

“Which leads me to my next point. You can’t trust either of them. I’ve kept Kylo’s security at a low, just waiting for him to escape his cell and rescue you. He didn’t.”

“Let me get this straight. You **wanted** Kylo to break out and save me?”

“I wanted to prove to you that you are not of importance to either of them; to show you that if given the opportunity, neither of them would choose you. They’re selfish and now that they’ve found each other again, you aren’t needed.”

 

Wincing at the sharp pain that Hux’s assertion caused, Kai soaked in the words. It all made sense; in his mind, the explanation was rational. If it _were_ true that they’d go after each other rather than him, how could he believe anything different than what Hux claimed.

“How do you know they’ll go after each other first? How can you be so sure?”

 

A merciless grin stretched across Hux’s face. There was one thing that Hux had been overly skilled at; the trait that allowed him to excel in the First Order – connivance. He knew that if set up properly, the story would proceed exactly how he wanted. Manipulation was his forte.

The execution of Hux's plan had worked flawlessly; they all had unknowingly played directly into it. Kai had fallen into the palm of his hand.

“Kai, my boy. They already have.”

 

Hux guided Kai over towards a wall covered in screens. Raising his hand, Hux pointed at one of the displays. There was a live feed of Kylo Ren on it, fighting multiple guards at once in a hallway – seemingly alone.

Breathily, Kai murmured. “He got out. He’s alone.”

Without speaking, Hux moved his finger towards another monitor. Kai paled at what he saw. It was his mother, on the opposite side of the corridor – fighting her way towards Kylo.

“They found each other...instead of finding me.” No tears were shed by Kai. Instead, the blood in his veins began to pump vehemently. The pupils in his eyes flared as red clouded his vision. With a quick and violent move of his arm, Kai struck the screens in front of him; he didn’t notice that his knuckles had begun to bleed.

 

Hux took a few small step backwards and placed his hands behind his back, relishing in the fact that his scheme had worked. “Now that I’ve shown you the truth; now that you’ve seen that **_I_** am the only one that you can trust, it’s time to prove your commitment – to me, to the First Order.”

Kai was unable to take his eyes off of the broken screens in front of him. Incapable of comprehending what was pulsing through his mind, he answered robotically. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to destroy Kylo Ren. That is your final step.”

Sharply turning his head, Kai glared at Hux with lowered brows. “Final step of what?”

“Your choice to stand with me. With him gone, there’ll be no more obstacles. Even your mother can’t stop your strength, Kai. I’m the only one who you can trust to guide you – you’re aware of this now. Prove to me that your loyalty is with me.”

 

Kai drew in a long breath before he exhaled the remainder of his hesitance.

“Let’s find them.”

With a twisted face, Hux’s lips parted into a toothy grin. “You’ll need this.”

Though Kai did his best to keep his composure, his eyes widened as Hux handed him a lightsaber – Kylo’s lightsaber.

“How poetic is that? To die by your own lightsaber – what a fate.” Hux sneered with accomplishment.

 

Staring down at the lightsaber he held in his palms, a flashback of Kylo replayed in Kai’s memory – the vision of Kylo’s face as he’d handed him a lightsaber in the shuttle when they’d arrived back at the Supremacy; the story he explained along with it. He recollected on the meaning the weapon had when it’d been given to him: to help save his mother; to do the right thing.

Hux presented him this saber for the opposite reason – to annihilate. To kill.

 

Kai reflected on how much the two situations differed; how the paths laid in front of him varied so greatly. He enclosed the saber in one of his hands, gripping the hilt tightly with his fingers.

_It feels like the choice has already been made for me._

 

Kai stopped dead in his thought process as the words flashed through him. Kylo’s remark from one of their earlier lesson’s together repeated over and over inside of his mind; a statement that had impacted Kai greatly.

**_“I didn’t choose. My path was chosen for me.”_ **

 

The importance of this revelation dug a dagger into Kai’s heart.

_It’s been chosen for me...just like Kylo._


	24. The Source of Strength

Kylo had been surprised at the lack of security that was placed over him. Breaking out of his holding cell hadn’t proved to be much of a problem – a simple mind trick, and the single guarding trooper unhatched the protective door.

_Something isn’t right._

 

Unwilling to waste time on worrying about theories, Kylo knew he needed to locate Rey immediately. Reaching out with his mind, he spoke to her – pleading that she would hear him.

_Where are you? I’m coming to you._

 

Kylo never received a response from Rey, but instead a blurry vision that seemed to be imprinted into his mind: a hallway, lined with black armored troopers – Rey stood at the end of the hall, calling out to Kylo with outstretched arms in what felt like slow motion. Her voice was muted causing her words to be indecipherable. Although what he viewed was foggy, he could make out Rey screaming in terror while he laid feet away on the floor as troopers closed in on him.

 

Upon snapping back from the vision, he realized the hall he’d seen was familiar. It was the corridor that led to the ships throne room. Unsure of if this was where Rey was, it was the only lead he had. Kylo bolted to the closest elevator that he could find; repeating to himself that he hoped he wasn’t too late.

 

Fuming with impatience, he couldn't withhold his eagerness. “This is taking too long!”

Kylo’s fists slammed on the walls of the elevator in rage, bringing up deja-vu of a memory that he'd long forgotten. Instantly stopping, he stared down at his shaking hands. As he reflected on himself, he became aware of how different this situation was. He pounded on elevator walls once before, but that anger had been caused by Supreme Leader Snoke.

In the previous situation, he’d been humiliated and degraded – his shame manifesting itself through physical fury. At that time, Kylo had left the elevator out for Resistance blood.

Where he stood at his current moment was different, though. He was fighting for something other than approval from his master; Kylo was fighting for his family. For the first time in his life, he’d been fighting for a real cause – saving the people he loved; arguably the greatest cause of all, and what he’d aspired to have the strength to do for a while.

 

Nothing would stand in his way of saving Rey and Kai. Kylo knew that he was willing to do whatever was needed to make sure they came out of this alive.

_Self sacrifice for them would be the most significant thing that I could accomplish in my lifetime._

 

Suddenly the elevator came to a holt, thrusting him back into the present.

Kylo drew in a long breath, attempting to stabilize his emotions and preparing for whatever he was about to face. His jaw twitched in anticipation.

_I can save them. I will do this._

 

As the door slid open, Kylo flung himself out. Black armored troopers awaited him, ready to kill – apparent that they’d been prepared for his arrival. The vision he'd had a short time before was still freshly etched into his mind.

_The troopers...they're the same._

 

Time froze once he laid eyes on Rey at the end of the corridor, fighting off her own pack of troopers. His heart stopped beating for a split second as he realized the peril that she was in; they had her by the throat. She kicked and wriggled with her entire being to loosen her attackers grip, but her might hadn’t been enough. Her skills had been unused for years, which made it difficult for her to completely regain her abilities and strength.

 

Ignoring the danger that charged towards him, Kylo pushed through whoever stood in his way. His only goal was to make it to Rey. With his eyes set ahead, Kylo yelled at the top of his lungs – his hand raised to Force grip the trooper whose fingers were tightly wrapped around Rey’s neck.

As the troopers armor began to crush in on itself, the soldiers grasp loosened enough for Rey to grab his hands and pull them back – the bones in his fingers broke from her force. She leaped forward and grabbed a fallen blaster that laid on the ground in front of her.

 

Rey raised her head, regaining her view of Kylo. Their gazes had met for only a second, but the world around them stood still. They could feel the others presence fill the empty parts of themselves.

With Kylo near, her calm had been replenished. Rey's freshly steadied nerves allowed her to lift the blaster and begin shooting at the swarm of troopers that surrounded them. She was able to pick off five of the warriors before the others realized what she was doing. The four that remained stood in the middle of the hall, blocking the only path between Kylo and Rey.

 

In a quick attempt to subdue them, Kylo threw his hands in the air to gain control of the group. Though he’d captured them inside of a tight, invisible grasp, one had barely managed to escape. In what seemed like an instant, the freed trooper grabbed the blaster that had been fastened onto his waist and shot in Kylo’s direction.

Kylo’s eyesight went blurry as a searing sting tore through him. He flew backwards, crashing to the ground. Stunned and in pain, all Kylo could do was watch as the newly released troopers stormed to where he landed.

 

Regardless of the fact that he’d been wounded, Kylo still only worried about Rey’s safety. Doing his best to catch a glimpse of her in the chaos, his pupils struggled to search for any shape that could be hers. When he’d finally been able to focus, he saw that Rey was screaming for him; arms outstretched begging for Kylo to come to them.

_My vision...this is what I saw._

 

But unlike his vision that ended, Kylo lived out what happened next.

Out of fear that Kylo's life would be lost, Rey found her strength. With tears of ferocity, she protected what was hers and managed to Force choke two of the troopers. They fell to their knees, gripping at their necks as they gasped for air. The remaining two stopped in their tracks and turned towards Rey, preparing to shoot.

 

Kylo closed his eyes for a moment, attempting to regain his composure through his pain. As Rey’s smile flashed through his mind, Kai’s face crept up along side of her.

_This is what I’m fighting for._

He gathered all of his remaining power and released it in the form of a bright wave of energy that radiated from the ground beneath him. With power created through the Force, the troopers were sent flying into the hallway walls.

 

Everything became silent as the bodies of the seemingly lifeless guards fell to the floor. Astounded, Rey’s jaw had fallen open. The scene was marvelous, and Ben Solo had been the center of it all.

“The light,” Rey said in wonderment. “It was so brilliant...and pure.”

 

Kylo had been unable to concentrate on what Rey had said, and he was completely unfazed by the feat he’d just accomplished. Only one thought was branded inside of his mind at the end of the commotion:

_Kai. Where is Kai?_


	25. Let Go

“Where’s Kai?” Kylo forced out through labored breaths as he knelt on the ground. He’d already been in a severely weakened state due to being locked away with minimal food; he barely had the energy to move, let alone fight a horde of troopers. Any reserved energy he’d had was spent in the recent battle.

 

Once Rey reached Kylo, she extended her hand to him; offering aid in standing up. It wasn’t hard to see the frail condition that he was in. “With Hux. I don’t know their exact location, but this isn’t good.”

 

Without wasting time, Kylo grabbed Rey’s hand while simultaneously gripping at his torso – doing everything to mask his poor state. “We need to find him now. Hux has probably…” Before Kylo managed to finish his assertion, he collapsed back to his knees. 

 

Attempting to catch Kylo before he fell to ground, Rey lunged to help cushion his fall. Alarm squeaked from her mouth. “Ben! Were you shot?!”

 

Kylo hadn’t noticed the blood that was dripping from his abdomen. He glanced down at his hand soaked in a deep scarlet. Shaking Rey’s grip away from him, Kylo made an effort to pick himself up again – trying to muffle his groans of pain with every movement. “I’m fine. We need to find Kai.”

 

“You aren’t going anywhere in the shape that you’re in! I’ll find somewhere for you to hide, and then I’ll find Kai.” Rey reached back towards Kylo, hoping to find a room to pull him into.

 

Kylo wrenched his hand away from Rey once more in an act of defiance. “ ** _We_ ** need to find Kai.”

 

Lifting her gaze to meet his, Rey pushed Kylo’s hair away from his face with a half smile. She wrapped her arm around his waist, letting him lean into her side. Kylo laid his arm around her shoulder as he steadied his gait. Rey waited a moment to allow him to regain his balance before she began to move forward. “Okay. We’ll find him.”

 

“You don’t need to find anyone,” A strong voice reverberated from behind, echoing off of the empty hallway that surrounded them. “He’s right here.”

 

Neither of them needed to question who the voice belonged to. “Hux,” Kylo said through a clenched jaw. Rey slowly began to pivot around to face them towards Hux. “Let him go.”

 

Hux threw his head backwards in a cackle. “Let him go? I’m not holding him hostage, fool. He’s here because he wants to be.”

 

Kylo’s chest continued to rise and fall with rapid breaths; he was losing blood rather quickly. Listening to Kylo huff and gasp for air, Rey knew that time was of the essence – this confrontation needed to end quickly.

“So, what’s your plan this time?” Rey spit her question towards Hux bitterly. “To kill us all? If that’s the case, you’re a bigger imbecile than I thought. Ben’s here.”

 

“Barely,” Hux said through a smile. Shifting from one foot to the other, he took a small stride towards the two of them. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him in such poor condition, not even when you bested him on the Starkiller Base. I’m very pleased.”

 

Glancing over towards Kylo, Rey noticed he’d started to lose color; he was a pale white with drops of sweat dripping down his clammy face. Mustering up her courage, she continued to downplay Hux’s ability to win. “Even in his weakened position, he could still kill you in an instant. And you’re forgetting about me – don't underestimate me.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Hux raised his hand to Rey. “Please, spare me. You won’t be doing anything. But, you’re mistaken about this whole situation. It won’t be me that anyone has to face.”

 

Just as the words rolled from his tongue, Kai stepped out from behind Hux’s shadow. His face was stoic; the light in his eyes had faded.

 

Rey felt her body collapse while she took in the view of her son. His beautifully unkempt hair was now pulled into a tight bun on his head which allowed Rey to see his entire face. The childish flush in his cheeks was gone; his eyes didn’t have the same honey golden shine anymore. Instead, his irises were lined with a bright red. His cheeks looked sunken in; his defined cheekbones and jawline were sharp causing him to look aged and malnourished. He’d been dressed in all black with Kylo’s lightsaber attached to his hip. The way Kai stood – his gait sturdy with his hands neatly kept behind his back – proved he was ready for battle.

 

“Kai, is that you? No! What are you doing?!” Rey welled up with tears as she let out a yell in disbelief. She could barely recognize her son.

 

Without words, Kai ignited the lightsaber and lifted it as he pointed towards Kylo’s direction; the red light casting a crimson glow onto his cheek causing him to look almost evil.

 

Releasing Rey’s grip from his body, Kylo limped forward. “I won’t fight you.”

 

Waving his hand dismissively, Hux quickly yelled. “Artifice! He’s deceiving you, Kai. He’s backed into a corner and he’s doing whatever he can to save Rey, _not you._ This is a trick!”

 

Kai’s top lip twitched as a war raged on within him. His heart ripped into pieces as he begged for it to stop beating; anything to not feel torn anymore.

 

Barely able to lift his legs, Kylo continued to drag his feet to Kai. “You can kill me, but I refuse to fight you. The position you’re in is my fault, Kai, not yours. I should’ve done more to protect you.”

 

“Protect me? I just wanted the truth,” Kai held his stare steady, refusing to blink. Though his insides were ablaze, his voice was strong; unwavering in it’s vindication. “That’s all that I wanted from either of you. Supreme Leader Hux is the only person who has ever given me that.”

 

Unable to stifle her cries any longer, impulse took over Rey. “This isn’t who you are, Kai!”

 

A mirthless laugh seeped from Kai’s wide smile. “I had no clue who I was, thanks to you. You hid everything from me...you lied to me my entire life!” He stared straight through Rey, as if he didn’t even see her. “My father was a monster, and you knew that I was a monster too.”

 

Before he was able to speak, Kylo forced himself to take in a deep breath. It was becoming more obvious how difficult it was for Kylo to talk – his energy was rapidly depleting. “You’re not a monster. You’re not... _me_.”

 

“And you,” Kai brought his eyes back to Kylo. Every word that he spoke was covered in resentment. “You were going to abandon me like I was nothing. Even after you knew that I was your son, I still didn’t mean anything to you.”

 

Try as he might, Kylo couldn't articulate any words. His soul was shattered by the fact that he’d single handedly made Kai feel unwanted. Out of all of the mistakes Kylo had made in his life, this one weighed the most.

_You mean everything to me._

 

Anxious for a response from Kylo, Kai screamed out for a reaction. “Fight me now, Kylo Ren! I’m done with these games!”

 

Kylo kneeled before Kai, accepting his fate while refusing to fight his son. Tears of regret dripped from his face onto the floor. Deciding not to hold back, he released all inhibitions.

“I’m not Kylo Ren, I’m Ben Solo. I’m your father, and that’s all I ever want to be,” slightly choking as he gasped for air, Kylo ignored the blood that he’d coughed up. “I can’t change what’s happened – I can’t take back the hurt that your mother and I have caused. But even if it’s the last thing that I do, I will try to guide you back to the light. I know that you’re not lost and _I’m not going to fight you._ ”

 

In a pained whisper, Kylo spoke to Kai like they were the only two people there. "Let go of the darkness, Kai. Let it pass."

 

“Lies!” Hux shrieked, stomping towards Kylo and swiftly kicking him in the face. “He's lying! They don’t want you, **I** am the only one you can trust!”

 

Kai’s eyes widened as Kylo fell face first onto the cold ground below – blood forming into a pool on the ground around him. Anxiousness overtook Kai as his stomach tightened – it took everything in him to suppress the vomit that crept up his throat.

 

Placing his feet firmly in front of Kai, Hux tightly squeezed Kai's shoulder. "You can’t trust them. You know what needs to be done.”

 

Hux's statement came out strong and vindictive. Unable to tear his stare away from Kylo's seemingly lifeless body, Kai nodded his head in agreement.

 

“That’s not true and you know it! Hux is seeded so deep into your brain that you aren’t thinking clearly!” Rey pleaded with her son in a last attempt to bring him back.

 

With a frightening calmness that seemed to make the air stand still, Kai made a final declaration. “You’re wrong. For the first time in my life, I’m seeing everything clearly.”

 

A scream of horror escaped from Rey's mouth as Kai lifted the lightsaber and sliced through the man before her.


	26. A New Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *****TW: Death of a character*****

The lightsaber slipped from between Kai’s fingers, crashing down to the floor with a loud thud. His knees buckled, forcing him to catch himself with his hands on the ground. Tears dripped from his eyes as the reality of what he’d done collapsed down around him.

Almost robotically, Kai crawled over to the person that laid in front of him. His voice cracked as he called out to Kylo – his whimpers unintelligible.

 

While approaching the body on his hands and knees, Kai blankly stared at the pool of Kylo’s blood that streamed around his fingers. He lifted his hand and watched as ruby red trickled down his arm – physical proof of his mistakes; the metallic smell leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

“I don’t know how I’ll live with myself if he’s not okay.”

 

Turning his head to examine the two halves of Hux that laid sprawled out, Kai held his breath.

_I almost chose to kill Kylo._

He pressed his eyes shut, blocking out the scene of the stiff pieces of the corpse. The setting that surrounded him had been too much to take in. As he began to tremble, he felt a familiar soft touch on his shoulder.

 

“It’s okay, my boy. It’ll all be okay.”

 

Instantly, Kai began to sob – harder than he’d ever cried before; tears as evidence of his regret and agony. His entire being quaked, unable to hide the shock any longer. “I don’t want to feel this way forever.”

 

“You did the right thing, Kai. Hux was an evil man. He was taking you to a terrible place.” Rey stroked the side of her sons face lovingly as a reminder that the boy she knew still resided within him.

 

“The damage is done,” Kai spoke out loud – the comment not intended for anyone but himself. He shoved his mothers hand from his face, incapable of accepting her kindness. “I can’t come back.”

 

“You saved Ben, and that’s the best decision that you could’ve made,” Rey said while gesturing towards Kylo’s body. “There’s nothing to come back from. You never left.”

 

“But I killed someone...I betrayed Hux. I can feel the anger pulsing through my veins still,” Kai grabbed his head and started to pull at his hair. “I feel like I’m being torn in half. The darkness is still inside of me.”

 

Fearing for her son’s loss of control, Rey grabbed Kai’s hands and unweaved his fingers from the strands of his hair – a small attempt at comforting him.  Although she felt herself creeping towards her own mental breakdown, she knew that she had to hold it together for Kai. “We’ll figure this out, together. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Rey shifted her gaze to Kylo and spoke with urgency. “Ben can help you better than anyone – better than me. He can be here for you. We need to get him to safety.”

 

“We can take him to the infirmary,” Kai quickly said without lifting his gaze to meet his mothers. “The equipment there should be more than good enough.”

 

Panic sent electricity sparking through Rey’s chest as she stuttered. “Y-you want to keep him _h-here_?! After we just killed their Supreme Leader?!”

 

Shaking his head, Kai peered up towards his mom with soulful eyes – a look that hadn’t been seen for a while.

“These people here…they’re not evil. They follow their orders and that’s it. They don’t really know anything else. They were born into this war, and their respective side, just as everyone else.”

A pit grew in Kai’s stomach as he turned his attention back to Kylo. “Besides, he’s the rightful Supreme Leader anyways. The First Order knows that. Why do you think Hux wanted him dead so badly?”

 

Though Kai had been angry for allowing himself to be manipulated by Hux, he couldn’t help but to feel a remaining sense of loyalty towards him. It was true that Hux had been using Kai for nothing but power, but he’d also shown Kai more truth about his life than anyone else prior.

As the words left his tongue, Kai continued to feel himself rip apart. “He said he wanted Kylo executed for treason and harboring a fugitive, but in reality Kylo was his last obstacle – he was all that stood between Hux and the ultimate power of ruling the galaxy.”

 

Rey bit her lip thinking about how close Hux had been to fulfilling his wish.

_How could I have been so blind to it all..._

She quickly walked over to Kylo and turned him onto his back – picking up his head and placing it gently into her lap. Barely able to function at the sight of Kylo’s bloodied face, Rey let out a sigh of relief once she witnessed his chest rise and fall with light breaths.

“He’s still alive!”

 

Kai lifted from his knees, towering over Rey. Instantly, his tone altered – his demeanor quickly changed from broken to powerful. “I was something of a general to Hux’s Supreme Leader in my stay here. I’ll talk to someone and handle this. Wait here.”

 

Wearing a mask had been a skill that Kai had mastered quite well – he took after his father in that way.

 

**********

“We’ve found another child who’s Force sensitive, sir.”

 

Ben waved Finn over with a chuckle. “I’ve told you, call me Ben. You don’t have to be so formal.”

 

“I’m sorry, sir – erm, I mean –” Finn fidgeted with the collar of his shirt as a toothy smile grew on his face. He nervously laughed while he opened the file with information to show Ben. “We’ve found another child. Actually, she’s less of a child and more of a teenager. Alone in the outer rim.”

 

Ben looked at a blurry picture that had been captured of the girl on a remote planet – she couldn’t have been more than 17. “She’s alone?”

 

“And hostile,” Finn quickly answered. “Rose and I tried making contact with her before at Rey’s request, and it didn’t turn out so well…” With flushed cheeks, Finn lifted his jacket sleeve – what had been left of it, at least. “Safe to say, she wasn’t a fan of my attempt at a friendly approach. She damaged our ship and we barely made it out! When we reported back to Rey, she thought this was a case you should handle.”

 

Ben couldn’t stifle his laughter. “Noted. I’ll send Kai.”

 

Worry trickled from Finn’s brow. “Alone? Is that a good idea, sir – I mean, Ben? With all due respect, this girl is very powerful. Why don’t you follow behind him?”

 

Contemplating his options, Ben rested his chin in his palm. “She looks to be close in age to Kai and I think he might be able to reach her better than I. Besides, he could use this as a training opportunity."

 

“You got it..." Finn replied reluctantly lifting his shoulders in a shrug as he turned to exit Ben’s office.

 

Ben raised to his feet and placed his hand on Finn’s shoulder to stop him from leaving. “On second thought, why don’t you follow behind? Keep your distance and stay out of his sight. Just in case.”

 

Scratching at his head in disbelief, Finn tried to stop his jaw from dropping any more than it already had. “You want **_me_ ** to follow him? Now I know you’re going crazy.”

 

Placing his hands on his hips, Ben smirked. “If there’s anyone I trust with Kai’s safety, it’s you.”

**********

 

Kylo shot up from the bed that he’d been laying in. Scaring Rey from her sleep, she instantly straightened up – she’d been in a slumber, slouched over the side of his bed. “You’re awake!” Rey’s shriek of excitement lit up the entire room.

 

Almost in a trance from his vision, Kylo had been unable to respond to Rey.

_What...was that? That felt so real._

 

Noticing Kylo’s look of concern, Rey grabbed his hand in worry. “What’s wrong? I’m here, it’s okay.”

 

Scrunching his eyebrows together, Kylo recalled the details of what he’d seen. “A dream, I think. Or a foresight of some sort...”

Immediately, Kylo cut himself off as quick flashes of memories flooded his mind. He realized that he had no idea how much time had passed since his last encounter with Hux.

_How long have I been unconscious?!_

 

“Wait, where’s Kai?! Where are we?!”

 

Swinging his legs to the side of the bed, Kylo attempted to leap to the ground – ready to continue his quest in saving his son. Much to his surprise, once his feet hit the cold floor he couldn’t find his footing. He underestimated how weak he still was.

 

Rey gripped tightly onto Kylo’s arm, helping him back into the bed. “Relax! Everything’s okay!”

Lacing her fingers through Kylo’s, Rey smiled warmly. The peaceful vibes that she exuded instantly calmed Kylo’s nerves. She enclosed his hand inside both of hers and squeezed.

“We have a lot to talk about.”


	27. Too Much Faith?

Kylo leaned back in the bed with a huff. Although he was ready to take action right then, Kylo couldn’t refuse Rey’s irresistible pull to stay. The trust that he’d always placed in her ran inexplicably deep.

“I need to know if Kai is alright.”

 

The dimples in Rey’s cheeks appeared along with a smile. “Kai is absolutely fine.”

 

A wave of relief washed over Kylo; the tension that he’d held in his shoulders instantly released. “What happened with Kai and Hux?” The question had been hard to ask; scenes of their interaction ripped through Kylo’s skull – his last recollection was of Kai staring down at him as Hux fiercely kicked him in the face. He bit his lip in anticipation awaiting her reply.

 

“That’s a conversation I’m going to leave for you and Kai,” Rey sank into her chair, twirling a piece of her hair around her finger nervously. “I know he has a lot to say.”

 

Taking a look around the room that he was placed in, Kylo examined the monitors and IV bag next to him. “What is this? What infirmary is this?” He tugged at the wires that were attached to his arms in hopes of freeing himself.

 

Rey lightly slapped his hands away from his attempt at escape, silently shaking her head in disapproval as she answered his question. “That’s where this gets a little...muddled.”

In one swift motion, Rey spun around in her chair towards a speaker on the wall. “Could you send Kai into Ben’s room, please?”

 

_“Right away, ma’am.”_

 

Chewing on her cuticles with uneasiness, Rey turned back to Kylo with a weary look in her eye. “You need to keep yourself relaxed. Your first instinct is going to tell you to have a conniption fit, I just know it.”

 

Eyeing Rey cautiously, Kylo had no idea what to expect. His mind raced with possibilities of what their circumstances could be.

_Why is she speaking like this? What has her so worried? She says everything’s okay, but the look on her face shows otherwise._

“What’s going on, Rey?”

 

Deciding to be straight forward, Rey collected air into her lungs – bracing herself for the expected outburst.  “We’re still on the Supremacy, we have been for over a month, and you’ve been kept under sedation the entire time.”

She could feel her face turn a shade of red as the statements flowed from her mouth in one quick breath.

 

Electricity filled the air, pricking at Kylo’s skin. “A **_m-month_ **?! Why would I have been kept under for that long?!”

 

Unable to stop her defensiveness, Rey snapped back. “You were barely clinging to life by the time we got here! You needed the proper rest to heal! I knew that if we didn’t force you, you would’ve never allowed yourself the time!”

 

“That wasn’t your call to make!” The hairs on Kylo’s body stood tall as his voice thundered.

 

Rey turned her head to the side and crossed her arms; a vein slightly raised at her temple.

“I’m not going to argue with you, Ben Solo. I did what was best for you and that’s that!”

 

Not wanting to push further towards an argument, Kylo lowered his head in thought. He clutched at the blanket that covered him – a feeble attempt at containing the eruption that Rey had been so sure would follow.

_The Supremacy...how can we still be on it after all of this time?_

 

Trying to destroy the tension that currently filled the room, Kylo’s mouth released a shotgun of questions; so much that his tongue was barely able to keep pace with his brain. “I don’t understand. How are we still here? Are you okay? Why didn’t Hux kill us, or atleast lock us away?’

 

“Because Hux is dead,” Kai leaned on the edge of the doorway with his hands in his pockets – grinning ear to ear. “Glad to see me?”

 

Kylo nodded his head – it wasn’t often that he was left speechless, but this had been one of the occasions. All he could do was stare; Kai’s appearance had changed so much from the last time he’d seen him. A light pink glowed from his cheeks; the dimples his mother passed down to him showing again. His hair returned to it’s normal disheveled, yet somehow perfectly kept, state.

_He really is okay._

 

Clearly able to hear Kylo’s thought as it flicked through his mind, Kai let out a small laugh. “I look good, I know,” he said jokingly. “That’ll happen when you’re no long an evil creatures' henchman.”

 

The smile that Kylo sported at Kai’s return of sarcasm was suddenly replaced with a look of concern. Upon closer inspection of Kai’s eyes, he noticed something drastically different.

 

The only evidence that remained as proof of the ordeal: flicks of red mixed in with the gold throughout Kai’s irises.

 

Noticing the dramatic change of expression on Kylo’s face due to his realization, Kai quickly rekindled their mental connection that they’d had once before.

_We can talk about it later, okay? Please._

 

Complying with his son’s request, Kylo changed the subject. “Can anyone tell me what’s actually going on, or do I need to figure it out myself?” As he spoke, he began to lift the sheets off of him – signaling that he was going to get answers whether it was from them or someone else.

 

“Calm down, old man,” Kai trotted over to Kylo's side, still wielding his smirk. Sending a quick glance over to his mom, he could see the hesitant quivers of her lips – wanting to speak, but unsure of exactly what to say.

Turning to his mom, Kai kissed her forehead. “It’s okay, mom. I got this.”

 

Rey perked up, shaking her head in agreement as she stood up and offered her seat to her son. “I know you do. Sit here. I’ll go find some clean sheets for his bed.”

 

As Rey left the room, Kylo couldn’t take his eyes off of her – it took everything in him to not reach for her hand as she walked away.  “Wait…” he murmured impulsively.

“I’ll be back. In the meantime, listen to what our son has to say,” Rey stopped in the doorway and raised a finger, peering back towards Kylo. “Oh, and think of a way to apologize to me for being a jerk!” she added with a playful smile; her eyes twinkling with delight.

 

Doing his best to hide his embarrassment at her flirty comment, Kylo quickly turned his head to the side; cheeks burning hot. This was a whole new territory and it wasn’t something he encountered often. Processing emotion like that didn’t come easy.

 

“Alright, **_anyways_ ** …” rolling his eyes, Kai brought his hand to his head. “Moving on.”

 

More than willing to change the subject, Kylo jumped at the opportunity. “How are we on the Supremacy still? Even with Hux dead, it doesn’t make sense.”

 

“Sure it does,” Kai folded his hands behind his head as he leaned back in the chair; lifting his legs to set his feet up on Kylo’s bed. “You’re the rightful Supreme Leader – you know this already. So, ya know...it’s your job to supremely lead.”

 

“I refused the role a long time ago,” Kylo slumped his shoulders, reminiscing on the decisions that led him to where he was at that point. “It doesn’t belong to me.”

 

“It’s supposed to though, and it does now. Think about it.”

 

Kylo raised his head up, instantly meeting his son's piercing stare. The look on Kai’s face was so absolute; so pure.

“You’re putting too much faith in me, Kai.”

 

“No, I’m putting the perfect amount of faith in you. This is your chance…” Kai’s eyes widened as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

 

Kylo twisted his face in confusion; the conviction in Kai’s voice was hard to ignore.

_My chance?_

“I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”

 

“During one of our first lessons, you told me that your path to the darkside was chosen for you. Well, now’s your chance to set it right. Choose your path. As the Supreme Leader, you’ll have the power to accomplish anything you set out to do,” Kai stared off, not focusing on anything, as different possible futures flashed before his eyes. "You could change everything."

 

Kylo cocked his head to the side; his jaw twitched with anxiety. The overwhelming factor of the awesome responsibilities that Kai believed his father was capable of handling weighed heavy.

_Why does he trust me so much? I don’t even trust myself. I can’t remember a time when I ever did._

“How can you be so sure that I’ll make the right decisions?”

 

“The same way you trusted me,” Kai said in a matter of fact tone. “I believe that the time for peace is now, and I believe that you’ll be the person to guide us there.”


	28. Acceptance

The starlit sky was accompanied by the soothing sound of waves crashing on the rocky island; the feel of the wind lightly blowing through their hair made the night feel ethereal. Their journey back to Ahch-To hadn’t been rushed, landing them there in the deep of the night.

 

“Wow, I didn’t realize how much I missed this place,” Kai announced, sauntering down the ramp of Kylo’s command shuttle. The magic of the night had almost taken his breath away. “It’s like a dream.”

 

Rey began to follow behind her son, steadily making her way towards their home. The lush grass had a fresh coat of dew on it that sparkled in the moonlight, softly illuminating their path. “It’s beautiful. It’ll be hard to leave.”

After a few steps, Rey reached for a hand that couldn’t be found. When she turned her head back towards the ship, she found that Kylo hadn’t exited. Instead, he stood in the shadows of his shuttle. “Ben? Aren’t you coming?” She outstretched her arm, inviting Kylo to come.

 

Kylo swallowed his many musings, unwilling to ruin his family’s first taste of peace they’d experienced for far too long. He caught himself reaching for his mask as he stepped onto the ramp. Bringing his gaze back to Rey, he saw that both her and Kai noticed his action as well. Kylo’s hand quivered a few inches above his mask – what he’d considered his own identity for so long.

 

No one spoke; silence fell all around them. Kai’s look of concern could be seen across the small field  – his eyes begging for his father to step off of the ship; not Kylo Ren. Rey continued to hold her arm towards Ben, stretching it as far as she possibly could. Her forehead creased as worry started to make its way to her face.

 

After a moment, Kylo dropped his hand to his side; digging his nails into his palm.

_This one can’t wait. It needs to be addressed now._

 

“I’m making a conscious decision. Kylo Ren is who I was; the mistakes that I’ve made – a lot of them irredeemable,” Kylo paused for a moment to survey his family. He watched as Kai lowered his head; Rey’s arm still stayed outreached, refusing to give up hope that Ben would take her hand.

“He’s a facade to hide all of my pain, my darkness, and my guilt...” Kylo’s lower lip trembled; his body doing what it could to gather strength. “Ben Solo has been lost for a very long time; longer than I’d like to admit. But he’s been discovered once again, thanks to both of you. I can never withdraw the terrible things that Kylo Ren has done, but I will spend the rest of my life doing what I can to replace the evil that Kylo Ren inflicted onto the universe with the good of Ben Solo. I’m Ben Solo.”

After taking large strides away from his mask and off of his ship, Ben grabbed Rey’s hand and brought it to his lips; kissing her soft skin. A flush crept up to her face – she’d been in shock from his sudden show of affection.

 

“Supreme Leader Ben Solo,” Kai chuckled with a grin. “It has a ring to it if you ask me.”

 

Rey hugged Ben’s arm in delight as they approached the front of her house. Though seemingly lost in euphoria, she was interrupted when she realized that her front door had been completely blown in. Releasing her grip, Rey ran towards the open doorway. “ _What_ **_happened?!_** ”

 

With a snicker, Kai offered his explanation. “Ben’s not good with doors, that’s what happened.”

 

“Don’t you mean ‘Kylo Ren isn’t good with doors’? Ben can learn!” Ben chortled, stepping over the broken pieces of wood. Noticing that Rey hadn’t reacted to their jokes, Ben wrapped his arm around her waist and squeezed tightly. “It happened when you were taken from me...from us. Keeping the door intact was the last thing on my mind.”

 

Visions of Hux capturing and torturing her pained through her mind; all images she’d do anything to forget. Rey nodded her head and hurried off into the kitchen to grab a broom. She did her best to steady her breathing by placing her palms onto the counter while she tried to erase the mental images. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks as she stared at the scars on her wrists from the shackles that had tore into her skin.

She hadn’t had time to process any of her own issues; she’d been so consumed in saving her son and Ben that she’d neglected herself in the process. The mental block that had kept her going began to collapse and she felt each thing she’d been repressing crash down onto her like boulders.

 

“Rey…?” Ben softly ran his hands up and down Rey’s arms in comfort. The smoothness of his voice melted into her ears. “Don’t worry about the door, Kai and I can clean it. Go relax in your bed. You deserve a good night's sleep.”

 

Quickly wiping the tears away from her eyes, Rey turned to Kylo and gave a half smile before walking away. When she reached the doorway, her feet suddenly stopped. Memories of the night she revealed the truth about Kai to Ben flashed through her mind; she remembered how her invite for Ben to accompany her inside had been declined. “Will you be joining me when you’re done?” Rey apprehensively asked.

 

Ben hid the light pink blooming on his face and grabbed the broom. He kissed the top of Rey’s head as he passed her in the doorway. “I won’t make the same mistake."

 

It felt as if Rey floated into her room; barely recognizing her feet touching the floor while she moved. She mindlessly changed her clothes and slipped into bed. Nibbling on her lip, she recollected the intimacy that she’d once shared with Ben in the past.

_Is this really happening? Will we actually be spending a night together again after all of these years?_

 

Years ago when Rey got to know ‘Kylo Ren’, she’d seen pieces of who Ben Solo really was and she fell in love with that man. But only those small glimpses of Ben had ever shown through – she’d never seen who the complete Ben Solo really was. Her mind had always been sure of Ben’s potential, but the fact that it was becoming a reality made her nerves jerk.

 

Rey could hear the muffled murmurs and laughs of Ben and Kai through her closed bedroom door while she fought to hold her eyelids open. The edges of her lips turned up into a smile as she listened to the sweet voices of the two people she loved most. She was lost in a blissful moment that she begged not to end.

_I’m not ready for sleep yet...please, let me stay awake a little longer._

 

**********

“We can’t go on like this, Ben.”

 

Kylo Ren stared at Rey from the other side of the fire that sat in between them; the flames practically nipping at his face. “I can’t join the Resistance. I don’t belong there.”

 

Chewing the inside of her lip, a line drew in between Rey’s eyebrows. “Well we can’t stay here – hiding out in these caves like some sort of outlaws! They’re going to question where I’ve been, can’t you understand that?”

 

“I’ll never be accepted by them, Rey. Can't _you_ understand **_that_** _?_ Are you delusional?”

 

Rey slammed her fist on the stone wall next to her. “Delusional?!” Her heart raced with rage as she tried to string her thoughts together. She'd only ever wanted Kylo to embrace the light and her mind couldn't comprehend why he kept refusing.

“What have I gotten myself into?! I should have listened to them about you!” The words slid from her tongue impulsively with no way to recover them. Rey quickly threw her hands over her mouth as if she could hide what she’d said.

 

In an instant, Kylo had made it to his feet. He scowled down towards Rey; the sting caused from her statement painted across his face. “You should have, and then neither of us would be in this predicament – stuck here, together.”

 

The warm glow of the fire made the tears in Rey’s eyes shimmer. “ _Stuck?_ I can’t believe you’d say that…”

 

Kylo’s face hardened; his detached appearance unchanging. His words were cold and razor like. “I never asked for you to find me.”

 

Rey turned her head down and subconsciously rubbed her hands on her stomach – a tiny flutter danced around as a response to her touch. The small – yet very large – secret she kept from Kylo was a constant reminder of the future choices she’d have to make; regardless of how difficult they’d be.

“You don’t want anything more than this? You don’t want a better life...away from the hold of the First Order?” Holding her arms out, Rey’s voice broke at the question – she already knew what the answer would be.

 

Kylo pressed his lips together creating a hard line; his lips turned down with spite. “I don’t need anything more than what I have right here,” he clenched his jaw until it twitched. “And obviously it’s not enough for you.”

**********


	29. Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****TW***** This chapter contains sexual content. Skip this chapter if you're not interested. :)

Beads of sweat trickled from Rey’s brow; her heart still pounded in her chest. Only the light glow from the moon bathed the room around her when she opened her eyes. She sat up in the bed and wept into her palms about the nightmare of a memory she just endured.

 

Waking up from the sobs, Ben lifted himself onto his elbows – putting more weight on one arm to lean over towards Rey. He kissed her bare shoulder to remind her of his presence. “What’s wrong?”

 

Rey turned to Ben and lunged at him; wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and back. “That night in the cave – you were enough. You always have been. I’m so sorry for ever making you feel any less.”

 

It took a moment for Ben to understand what she’d been talking about; the memory was fuzzy because it’d been one he’d tried to erase for years. “It doesn’t matter anymore. The choices you made were for Kai...I could never fault you for that, Rey.”

 

Ben gently placed Rey’s stray strands of hair behind her ear and slid his hand underneath her chin to lift her stare to his. He spoke in a whisper; his breath soft and warm against her skin. “You deserved more than what I could give you at that time, and that’s the truth. You deserve more than I’ll probably ever be able to give.”

 

Rey’s eyes twinkled with tears as she stared into Ben’s eyes; the windows to his soul were open and viewable. She could see his aspirations and fears – all of the worries of failure that were brought along with them. Unable to move away from his captivating stare, her heart began to cling to his on a level it never had before. The gears that had been working so hard to connect them for so long finally locked into place. “You’re enough.”

 

Unable to resist the magnetic pull, their lips united. Rey threaded her hands through Ben’s hair as he ran his fingertips along the small of her back. Shivering at his cool touch, she pressed herself into his chest; wanting to get as close to him as humanly possible.

With a small moan, he moved his mouth to her neck. Anxiousness to caress every inch of her body overtook him. “Is it alright..?” Ben shyly asked as he gently tugged at her shirt, asking permission to undress her.

 

Rey took hold of Ben’s face with a giggle – his genuine care for her only made her more eager for his touch.

“Of course it is.”

 

Moving rhythmically, Rey slid her back down flat onto the bed – Ben held himself above her with his arms. She slowly took in the unparalleled physique of the man on top of her, completely awestruck.

 

Their peaks and valleys lined up perfectly; the quiet huffs of their breath breathing life into each other. Lowering his mouth to Rey’s ears, Ben let out a whimper. “You’re all of the parts of me that’ve been missing.”

 

The sentiment sent goosebumps traveling down Rey’s arms and legs. Holding his face in her palms, she traced the outline of his lips before pulling his face back to hers. From in between the delicate kisses she bestowed onto Ben, Rey spoke in a hushed manner. “I promise that wherever you are, I’ll be with you. We’ll never be apart again.”

 

Her tender voice made Ben’s heart burst – an uncontrollable grin covered his face as ultimate elation filled his chest. He placed his forehead onto hers, preparing himself to embrace her body in the way that they both craved.

 

Drifting into ecstasy, Rey pulled at the sheets that surrounded her. Her lips quivered in pleasure as Ben’s unbelievably soft lips molded around hers. Reaching for Rey’s hands, Ben subdued his strength enough to give her the gentle touch she deserved; their fingers interlocked in unison.

The flow they followed became easy and effortless; their bodies rising and falling in a flawless pattern. Ben glided his fingers down Rey’s side as he relished in her perfection; only stopping to pull her small frame closer. As Rey repeatedly pressed her lips to Ben’s chest, she dug her nails into his back – unable to contain herself anymore.

 

Ben clenched Rey’s hair in his fist, digging his face into her neck. With an uncontrollable squeal, Rey tightened her body in euphoria. The darkness inside of her eyelids filled with bursts of color as Ben moaned into the bed beneath them.

 

The tune that their bodies played together slowly finished as they came back from what felt like a dream.

Rey placed her head on Kylo’s chest, lightly outlining his scar all the way up to his face – just as she used to. Tears of happiness dripped from her eyes; she refused to take the peaceful moment for granted. “I’ve never felt so free.”

 

“Me either,” Ben whispered into her hair, nuzzling her head with a kiss. “I would’ve waited for you forever if you asked, you know that right?”

 

Rey shut her eyes, thinking of all the missed time and opportunities that she’d given up by leaving him.

_It’s my fault that so much time was wasted._

“I know.”

 

Hearing the sad reflections run through Rey’s mind caused Ben to wrap his arms around her damp skin. “We have forever, now. There’s no more waiting.”

 

Rey nodded her head in understanding as she replayed what had just occurred between them – beautiful mental pictures of Ben’s embrace that she’d never forget. She felt Ben’s body tense up and turned her head up to him. “What is it?”

 

“Is that how you really view me?” Ben narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized the vision she’d painted of him – wholesome and harmless.

 

It took a minute for Rey to figure out what he’d been referencing, but once she did she realized that his twisted face was caused by disbelief. Ben was still disgusted with himself.

It was true that Kylo Ren had done horrendous things, but Ben Solo hadn’t. The willingness of Ben to mend the broken pieces that Kylo had left behind was proof of that. “Yes,” Rey said in a conclusive tone. “It is.”

 

“That’s why you’re so willing to give all of this up?” Ben lifted his arms as he made an example out of her home and the safety it held within its walls. “Because you believe that I’m incapable of causing anymore harm?”

 

Rey sat up, pulling the blankets over her body to cover up. “I’m willing to give this up because I want to help restore balance with you. It’s not that you’re incapable of causing harm – we’re all capable of that. It’s that I believe that you won’t make the choice to.”

 

It seemed as if her words never reached Ben’s ears by his reaction; the nonchalant shrugging of his shoulders. “You and Kai have too much confidence in me.”

 

Instead of getting upset at his low self-confidence; something clicked inside of Rey’s brain: she couldn’t force him to believe in himself, but she could show him how much she did.

 

Although Ben had made the choice to step away from Kylo Ren, that didn’t mean that there wasn’t lasting internal damage – these were wounds that she wanted to learn how to help him heal.

She’d seen the darkest depths of Ben’s soul; she knew that he couldn't remember a time in his life that anyone had believed he was destined for anything other than destruction.

_Why would he believe otherwise? Of course he won’t have faith in himself._

 

“I know that you’re not used to anyone believing in you, Ben. But I do, and so does Kai,” Rey moved closer to Ben, placing her hand on his thigh. “We won’t give up on you.”


	30. The Box

_******_

A week or so had passed since they’d returned back to Ahch-To; the time they’d been there had been spent celebrating Kai’s 15th birthday, along with packing the remaining belongings of Rey and Kai.

Rey, Ben, and Kai had decided that they would be moving to the Supremacy for the time being. This decision seemed to make the most sense; Ben needed to be there to lead the people who had chosen to remain with them on this next step.

Before they had returned to Ahch-To, Ben held a meeting with the everyone who resided on the Supremacy. He informed them of the changes that would be made; how their new directive was aimed towards balance and creating a much needed peace within the galaxy. Wanting them to make their own choice on if they’d like to be part of this change, Ben left the decision up to them. From troopers and their army, to pilots, to mechanics, computer tech workers, and housekeeping – Ben allowed whoever wanted to leave a way out, and offered whoever wanted to stay a new environment.

Ben planned on having a more personal meeting with all remaining higher ups of the First Order when he returned to the Supremacy. He knew that there may be a bigger chance of refusal from them, but he also knew that as Supreme Leader he couldn’t be disobeyed.

_******_

 

Ben stared into Kai’s empty room; the only item that remained was a box in the middle of the floor. He walked over to the container, bending his knees to lean down and get a better view of what was inside.

_What are these?_

Scooping one of the masks out from the box it’d been held in, Ben ran his fingers over the ridges of cold metal. Upon closer inspection, he could see the tiny imperfections of the mask – proof that it’d been homemade.

 

“I was planning on throwing those away.”

 

Swinging himself around, Ben began to stammer. “Oh no it’s not that – I just...I didn’t know what they were.”

 

Kai strolled over nonchalantly – completely unbothered by his fathers nosiness. “I made them.”

 

“All of them?” Ben asked surprised; though they’d been homemade, they were of great quality.

 

“All of them,” Kai replied with a shrug as he grabbed the mask from Ben’s hand. “You'd be surprised at how much free time I've had living alone with my mom for my entire life.”

A smirk crossed Kai’s face at his own sarcasm. “For some reason I’ve always been so obsessed with it.”

 

“Obsessed with what?”

 

“With wanting to be someone different,” Kai threw the mask back into the box with a small snicker. “Guess my inherent need to hide myself makes a lot more sense now that I know who my dad is.”

 

A smile formed at the corners of Ben’s mouth – a laugh emerged from between his lips. “Guess so. Are you sure you want to get rid of them? It’s alright if you want to keep them for–”

 

“I’m sure,” Kai sharply said, bending down to lift the box. “I don’t need them.”

 

With a nod of understanding, Ben ceased anymore conversation about the masks and followed Kai out of the room. Kai walked out of the front door – Ben slightly trailing behind him.

Unsure of where Kai was headed, Ben continued to follow him through a field and into a grove. As they emerged from the wooded area, they were instantly met with a large cliff leading down into the cold water below.

 

Kai stood at the edge, staring down into what looked like a dark abyss. “This is it.”

 

“It? What exactly is ‘it’?” Walking up next to Kai, Ben glared off the side of the ledge.

 

Kai turned the box over, dropping all of his masks down into the unknown beneath them. The fall had been so far that they weren't able to hear when the masks made contact with the water. “Where I’m getting rid of these things.”

 

“But why here? We could have thrown them off any of the cliffs on this island.”

 

Scowling down into the darkness, Kai shook his head. “No, this is different. This is where you go for answers.”

 

Extremely confused at his son’s vagueness, Ben couldn’t help but to inquire more. “Answers to what?”

 

“Anything. Mom told me that this is where she found the answers that completely changed her life – that this dark hole is what ultimately led her to having me.”

 

Something inside of Ben clicked as memories of a long ago conversation with Rey replayed in his mind.

_So this is what she was talking about...this is why she reached out to me that night when she felt alone._

Warmth crept up his neck as he remembered the first time his skin touched Reys, and how he’d been magnetically bonded to her ever since.

“But I’m still confused,” Ben continued. “Why _here?_ ” A look of worry stamped onto his face. “Are you wanting to go in there?”

 

“I’ve debated it for a really long time. Mom told me that if I felt it was necessary, I could go. But she also told me that all of the answers I thought that I needed might not help in the way I’m expecting,” Kai ran his hand through his hair subconsciously with his eyes wide; deep in thought. “I never understood what she meant, but I think I do now. I know what I’m meant to be and what path I need to be on. I don’t need whatever answers that place might have.”

 

Ben put his arm around Kai’s shoulder and pulled him closer with a smug look. “How old are you, again?”

Even though the question was asked as a joke, there’d been a hint of seriousness. The truth was that Kai really had grown up quite a bit in the few months that Ben had known him. Everything that happened had molded Kai in a tremendous way.

He couldn’t help but feel a little pride – Ben knew his son would accomplish great things.

 

Wriggling out from under Ben’s arm, Kai lightly pushed his dad away from him with a grin. “Alright, alright. Don’t get mushy with me now, old man.”

As he escaped his father's grasp, Kai sat near the edge of the cliff; feet dangling off the side. The mood of the moment instantly changed. “Am I still your apprentice?” Kai bit the inside of his cheek in anticipation of the negative answer he had a feeling he’d receive.

 

Ben sat down next to him. “No.”

 

Tilting his head down, Kai responded. “I figured.”

 

Placing his hand on Kai’s back, Ben lowered his face next to his sons. “You’re my son. You’re more than an apprentice.”

 

A smile of gratitude washed over Kai’s face. “I’ll take that.”

 

Leaning back on his arms wearily, Ben gulped down some anxieties that’d been building up in his throat. “Actually, I have a few things I wanted to talk to you about…”

 

*****

 

The sky was painted with orange and pink; slivers of blue still fighting to be seen. The two suns had begun their descension into slumber.

 

After Kai and Ben had discarded Kai’s masks, they’d stayed and talked for hours – the rest of the day seemed to escape from them. As they left the woods, the crackle and glow of a fire caught their attention. Rey had started a fire in the cleared area that her and Kai often shared; the place that Ben had found out that Kai was his son.

As soon as Kai saw what his mom had done, excitement ran through him. He jogged over to the clearing and took a seat on the blanket next to his mom, resting his head on her shoulder in appreciation.

 

Ben slowly sauntered over towards his family – taking in the beautiful sight he had in front of him. He knew that he never wanted this to end.

 

Turning her head up, Rey's eyes smiled at Ben while he sat down next to her. “I was wondering when you guys would return.”

 

“We lost track of time. He wouldn’t stop talking,” Kai joked, softly punching Ben's shoulder behind his mom’s back.

 

Rey couldn’t stifle her giggle. “Really, now? Do we have to add ‘Supreme Chatterbox’ as a new title alongside of Supreme Leader?”

 

Ben froze; his eyes held open as if he’d seen a ghost – his face quickly changed into a shade of pink. “Wait – no. That’s not it – I wasn’t.”

 

“Relax,” Rey raised her hand to touch Ben’s cheek. “I was joking. I actually do have something I’d like to speak with you about, though – Kai and I both do. It’s about our first steps forward.”

 

Straightening up, Ben’s face hardened. Though they’d all had numerous conversations about how to get the First Order involved in their efforts, they hadn’t talked much about what was going to happen outside of that. “Let’s hear it.”

 

“Well…” Rey glanced over her shoulder hesitantly, searching for the correct words to say.

_Conviction._ She thought to herself. _I need to have conviction in my idea. Be direct. This_ **_will_ ** _work._

“A sanctuary.”

 

With a twisted face, Ben could only repeat what she suggested. “A _sanctuary_?”

 

“Yes. A Force sensitive sanctuary.”

 

“But that’s what Luke did. The Jedi Temple...I destroyed it all...” Ben got choked up as flashes of the people he killed popped into his mind. “I ruined it, and I’m not a Jedi.”

 

“It’s not for Jedi’s,” Kai chimed in, attempting to bring his dad back from the painful memories he knew were pulsing through his mind. “We’re not going to teach anyone how to be a Jedi – or a Sith.”

 

Rey nodded her head quickly. “It’ll be a sanctuary for Force sensitive people. We can help them be more comfortable with who they are – not tell them who to be. You’ve always been right, Ben.”

Grabbing his hands, Rey squeezed tightly as a reminder that she wouldn’t let him do this alone. “There doesn’t need to be Jedi or Sith; only people who understand the power they possess without letting it consume them.”

 

“But Luke…” Ben murmured, guilt dripping from his words. It pained him to even say his uncle’s name out loud.

 

“Mistakes were made by everyone, Ben. Even Luke – and he knew that. Some weigh heavier than others, but the fact remains that so many factors went into what happened with you. We won’t make the same mistakes – we know better.”

 

Staring into the setting suns, Ben squinted his eyes.

_Is this how I start the process of fixing what I destroyed? By honoring Luke this way?_

 

Suddenly, his own thoughts became invaded by Kai’s.

_This is what he’d want,_ Kai silently spoke. _Trust me._

 

Ben looked towards Kai’s face that had been holding a smirk – but not just any smirk. It was a smile that withheld information; a grin that proved Kai knew something Ben didn’t.

Although Kai’s facial expression was proof that he was hiding something, it also brought Ben a sense of relief for an unknown reason.

Though apprehensive, Ben nodded his head in agreement. “Where will it be?”

 

Rey and Kai answered in unison. “Here.”

 

A moment of silence hung between them; ideas coursing through their minds on how this could work. With a sigh of surrender, Ben shrugged his shoulders as he stared into the hopeful faces of his family. “Alright. We’ll figure it out.”

 

“Yes!” Kai placed his arm around Rey’s shoulder. “See, I told you that he’d go for it.”

 

Rey squeaked with joy while she stared into Ben’s eyes; her cheeks decorated with dimples.

 

A smug look grew on Ben’s face as he raised his hand to his chin. “On one condition.”

 

“What is it?” Rey's smile faded and was quickly replaced with a forehead crease.

 

Without hesitation, Ben spoke fluidly. “We have to find the Resistance and tell them our plans.”

 

Due to shock, Rey’s face lost its normal peachy color; the color drained at her surprise. “Find the Resistance?” She couldn’t believe what she’d heard. Contacting the Resistance was the last thing she expected Ben to suggest.

 

“That’s the only way that this will work, Rey,” Ben continued, leaning towards her. “Regardless of the approach, we have to have their cooperation – even more so now because of this Force sanctuary. We’ve told the First Order our plans of peace, and the Resistance needs to know as well. There has to be unity within the two opposing sides for this to work.”

 

Rey zoned out as she stared at the drifting smoke the fire had created, losing herself in a trance of thoughts.

_I haven’t spoke to them in years_ – _since I found out that I was pregnant. I deserted them. They all probably believe me to be dead._

“How? How can we get them on board with merging?”

 

“You,” Ben whispered assuredly. “They trust you. They’ll never believe that my goal is peace if they aren’t involved, and they’ll never believe it coming from only me. Think about it, Rey. How will it look if I, ‘ _Supreme Leader Kylo Ren_ ’, began collecting Force sensitive people?”

 

Though fear had collected within Rey, she knew that this was a needed step. If she’d learned any lessons from Ben returning to her life, it was that she couldn’t continue to flee from situations out of fear anymore. “You’re right. No more running.”

 

Not expecting Rey to agree so easily, Ben raised his eyebrows and released the tension that he’d been holding in his shoulders. “So, it’s agreed then? We’ll find the Resistance with you leading the way?”

 

“And we’ll create a sanctuary – no, a home – for people who are alone and don’t know what to do with the gifts they posses,” Rey balled up a fist and lightly hit the palm of her other hand. “We’ll help anyone that we can, without losing hope in them.”

 

“That’s right, without losing hope,” Kai stretched his legs while he climbed to his feet. “No one’s ever really gone, right?”

 

Though the remark didn't phase Rey, a spark appeared in Ben's eyes; the familiar last words that Luke had spoke to his mother reached a part of his heart he forgot about. Impulsively, the thoughts flowed from his mind into Kai’s.

_You’ve spoke to Luke? When did this happen, Kai? How long?_

 

With a wink, Kai slyly pointed to his father. “Don’t you have something you want to talk to mom about?”

 

Instantly, Ben’s face paled – a cold sweat had formed and it trickled down his temple. “Well, I – I don’t know what –”

 

“You know, what you and I talked about earlier? When we were on the ledge?” With a chuckle, Kai turned to walk away with one hand on his hip; the other hand casually waving a goodbye. “Come talk to me when you’re done.”

 

Rey confusedly gauged the interaction between Kai and Ben. “What is he talking about, Ben?”

 

With a gulp, Ben turned his face away from Rey – unable to look at the scrunch her petite nose had created by her confusion. “I’m never good at this…”

 

“Good at _what_?”

 

Ben closed his eyes and took a deep breath in; forcing himself to muster up the courage to speak. “Explaining how important you are. I never get it right.”

 

As her cheeks flushed, Rey rubbed her arm bashfully. “You don’t have to say anything...I know–”

But her sentence was abruptly cut off with Ben’s lips. In their time of bliss, the world around them went silent. Words weren’t important; they melted together in each other’s presence.

 

As Ben started to pull away, Rey lifted her arms around his neck – silently pleading for him to kiss her a little longer.

 

In between kisses, inches away from Rey’s face, Ben whispered; “I’ll choose you every chance I get, in every lifetime. Let us be infinite?”

 

Rey slowly pulled herself away from Ben; arms still draped around his neck.

_Is he asking what I think he’s asking?_

 

Reaching into his pocket, Ben pulled out a small wooden box that seemed to be homemade.

 

Looking at the box that sat in his palm, Rey marveled at its beauty. “Did you make this, Ben?!”

 

Ben slightly moved his hand forward, offering the box to Rey. His fear had seemed to subside; in that moment, he’d never been more sure of anything in his life.

 

Rey gently grabbed the gift that'd been offered to her. Once the box was open, she found a small, folded note. As she unfolded the paper, she was met with beautiful calligraphy:

_Marry me, Rey? Promise to be by my side as we recreate balance?_

 

Tears slid down Rey’s cheek as she noticed what had been hidden underneath the note: a delicate ring decorated with a black diamond. She realized that this moment was where the universe had brought them; their stories had come full circle – meeting together, begging to become one.

 

Rey brought a hand to her mouth; a muffled gasp was all that escaped.

“Ben…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for following me on this journey of my very first fic! I appreciate every single one of you that took the time to read a little bit of this universe I've been working so hard to create.
> 
> I have a lot planned for the next part of this saga! So many new characters that I'm excited to bring to life. I have a new fic (a continuation of Kai, Ben, and Rey's story) that I'm going to be posting the first chapter of very soon.
> 
> Again, thank you all. I've enjoyed this immensely! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Any feedback is appreciated. :)
> 
> Comments or questions?  
> I'm on tumblr!  
> chibibritney.tumblr.com


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